VIII. Comunidades portuguesas dos Estados Unidos

391
Onésimo Teotónio de Almeida
You laugh at jokes about the Alentejanos but get angry to know that the
same jokes are told in Brazil about the Portuguese.
You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring
sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the dreadful «gripe». And
don’t let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could
happen to them.
You get a letter from your doctor saying you can’t work because of an «uns
pecified, ongoing medical condition» and then go on a two-week holiday.
Your child’s teacher misses two weeks (because of a letter from his or her
doctor) and you don’t complain because you also will use the same doctor
when you have to miss two weeks from your work.
If you are from Porto you don’t like people from Lisbon and call them
Moors. The reverse is also true but they don’t call you a nice word like
«Moor».
You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book
written in Brazilian Portuguese.
The last major military victory you can remember your country having was
the Battle of Aljubarrota in 1385.
You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at learning foreign
languages.
Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lack of
money in the States.
Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family.
You go crazy for the World Cup.
You refer to Portugal as «O Continente».
You’ve walked in «as paradas» longer than you can remember.