The Biblical Role of the Pastor's wife - South African Theological ...

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Most of these expectations have become part of our church cultures, yet they have no biblical basis and place unnecessary burdens on us and on our husbands. If we seek to meet unbiblical expectations such as these, we’ll do our churches a disservice by allowing our congregations to remain immature and dependent on us. A healthy church will usually seek to encourage and release the pastor’s wife to be the person God has created her to be and to allow her time and space to excel in the role and responsibilities of being a woman of God, a supportive wife and dedicated mother, in turn the congregation will be fulfilled. Communicating up front as to one’s expected involvement within the church can help to avoid unnecessary feelings of guilt and unrealistic expectations. It would be beneficial for the church leadership to revisit the wife’s position and involvement, on an annual basis, as situations and responsibilities change in her life. The pastor’s wife, either of herself or of her husband’s work or her children, can often interpret expectations as criticism. Somerville (2005:71) offers that such expectations can destroy one’s joy for ministry and in turn negatively affect one’s outlook on the church. She indicates that in such circumstances to pastors’ wives ought to keep no record of wrong, ultimately they are to love, show kindness and forgive, quickly (pp. 72-73). This kind of attitude is only possible when one is devoted and dependent upon the Lord and is seeking to walk in obedience to His commands. However, when deep hurt occurs through false or unrealistic expectations, Somerville recommends that the pastor’s wife should seek godly counsel, an accountability partner, someone who is able to draw alongside and pray or minister to her (p. 79). This brings us to trusting in the Lord (Prov. 3:5, 6). 4.4.3. Trusting the Lord Finding time to develop and maintain a vibrant spiritual life was not always possible for each wife. Most wives indicated their desire to spend more time with the Lord in quiet time and prayer. Wives with young children found it almost impossible. White (1986:123) indicates that “setting a time, especially when you have young children, can be difficult.… Making time to 118
maintain your spiritual self must become a matter of personal priority”. Although most wives understand that having to deal with small children is a phase in life, it can often a lonely time. This situation could be alleviated by having an older wife mentoring a younger wife. Sitting down for a half hour or hour each week (even with the children) could be an encouraging time spent in prayer and God’s Word. It is impossible to foresee every problem that would await a pastor’s wife; however, many authors (Somerville 2005, Dobson 2004, Haggard 2004) encourage making the effort to spend time with God whether they are working through a problem situation or experiencing God’s goodness and great joy. Dobson (2004:94) offers, “No single activity is more important than spending time the Word of God, unless it is the prayer time in which you beseech God to activate his Word in your life”. Haggard (2004:26-27) concurs, she shares that “as I drew closer to God, my intimacy with Him became the foundation on which everything else He had to teach me would be built. … It gave me the confidence that God values my life that I count to Him”. Possessing a spiritual life is not a ‘nice to have’; it is a true necessity, not only for pastors’ wives but all Christians. The fact that many wives are not having quiet times with the Lord reveals a great need and may be evidence or symptom of burn out. Spending quality time with the Lord will help to prevent burn out. Somerville (2005:14-15) indicates placing one’s priorities in order, seeking time with God, will focus one’s role and decided input to the body of Christ. It is less likely that pastor’s or their spouses will be involved in undue activity when they are listening to Him. 4.4.4. Making the Home a Haven One image of the ‘typical’ pastor’s wife may conjure up ideas of a simple, yet cheerful and devoted woman. Someone who is prone to hospitality, who encompasses the full range of culinary art and perfect housekeeping ability. This is not an accurate picture of the real pastor’s wife. Hospitality is a spiritual gift and a special function within the church. Making one’s home a haven for the husband and children may be a necessity at 119
Page 1 and 2:
THE BIBLICAL ROLE OF THE PASTOR’S
Page 3 and 4:
ACKOWLEDGEMENTS To my wonderful hus
Page 5 and 6:
TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER 1: INTROD
Page 7 and 8:
2.4.3 Do you enjoy your role as the
Page 9 and 10:
CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION 5.1 Review of
Page 11 and 12:
wife reveals that her role is poorl
Page 13 and 14:
Whether through particular need or
Page 15 and 16:
local church, with special referenc
Page 17 and 18:
1.2.3. Methodology for Chapter 3: A
Page 19 and 20:
CHAPTER 2 Situation Analysis: The P
Page 21 and 22:
This chart indicates that the major
Page 23 and 24:
The wives interviewed for this rese
Page 25 and 26:
identifies some key issues with reg
Page 27 and 28:
not specifically selected; they wer
Page 29 and 30:
200 congregants were nominally invo
Page 31 and 32:
2.3.5 How many years have you been
Page 33 and 34:
Two wives indicated that they were
Page 35 and 36:
congregational members could be rai
Page 37 and 38:
ecause their husbands were in essen
Page 39 and 40:
2.3.13 Do you believe Scripture tea
Page 41 and 42:
and yet were called upon to fulfil
Page 43 and 44:
needs also to be clear as to what s
Page 45 and 46:
It should be noted that an informal
Page 47 and 48:
suitable to each wife could be impo
Page 49 and 50:
eason or another must work but inev
Page 51 and 52:
23B3w: I feel better now as I have
Page 53 and 54:
23C2y: Developing relationships wit
Page 55 and 56:
ecause certain things are left undo
Page 57 and 58:
2.4.7 Have you established any boun
Page 59 and 60:
2.4.8 To what extent is the church
Page 61 and 62:
22B3q: Yes, I believe the church do
Page 63 and 64:
2.4.11 What message would you wish
Page 65 and 66:
as a church member or Christian and
Page 67 and 68: immediate family requirements, this
Page 69 and 70: 22B3q: I do regret not having the t
Page 71 and 72: ministry and afford all time and ev
Page 73 and 74: 2.5 Identifying the Role of the Pas
Page 75 and 76: CHAPTER 3 A Biblical Perspective on
Page 77 and 78: everything was very good. Sailhamer
Page 79 and 80: helper has often brought the connot
Page 81 and 82: elationship. For the purpose of thi
Page 83 and 84: Patterson’s article (1991:369) pr
Page 85 and 86: creatures and therefore find it nat
Page 87 and 88: church so that a foundation for the
Page 89 and 90: teaching began to create conflict a
Page 91 and 92: 3.4.2 1 Timothy 3:11: The Female De
Page 93 and 94: office. Fitzmyer’s understanding
Page 95 and 96: feminist theology, women in leaders
Page 97 and 98: public duty than any Christian woma
Page 99 and 100: Edwards and Mathews (2002:27) descr
Page 101 and 102: move outward to help future pastors
Page 103 and 104: The majority of pastors’ wives wh
Page 105 and 106: 4.2.1. Directives to the Body of Ch
Page 107 and 108: within a job portfolio of a deacon.
Page 109 and 110: within the church as God enables th
Page 111 and 112: Events of encouragement may differ
Page 113 and 114: Bare (a pastor’s wife herself) ev
Page 115 and 116: can place her trust. It is vital th
Page 117: Two books of exceptional value rega
Page 121 and 122: 4.4.5. Mentoring 28 A mentoring pro
Page 123 and 124: consistent encouragement. Pastors
Page 125 and 126: wives and to what extent wives unde
Page 127 and 128: perceived limitations of this role.
Page 129 and 130: Roberts (1995) and Dobson (2001) of
Page 131 and 132: Works Cited Adams, Jay E. 1984. She
Page 133 and 134: Fitzpatrick, Elyse M. 2003. Helper
Page 135 and 136: Women in the Early Church: Christia
Page 137 and 138: Roberts, Wes. 1995. Support your lo
Page 139 and 140: IL: Christianity Today, Inc. Online
Page 141 and 142: Appendix 2 Additional reading regar
Page 143 and 144: Grade 12 3,351 14.99 4,684 20.95 8,
Page 145 and 146: HOUSING PROFILE Type of Dwelling, O
Page 147 and 148: N.G. Church Somerset- West C/O Dirk
Page 149 and 150: 11. Describe your role in the local
Page 151 and 152: 8. Would you consider yourself the
Page 153 and 154: 1962: The Role of the Minister’s
Page 155 and 156: Appendix 8: Online Support for Past
show all

The Biblical Role of the Pastor's wife - South African Theological ...

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?