The Biblical Role of the Pastor's wife - South African Theological ...

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34D5p: 12B1s : 22B3q: 23C2y: 12B5t: 44D3w: 12B4z: 22B4w: Unable to confide in people because I am the pastor’s wife. Discretion is needed. Unable to confide in people because I am the pastor’s wife. I’m very careful who I trust. Unable to confide in people because I am the pastor’s wife. People like to be friends with me, status within the church or need counselling, etc. for selfish reasons rather than just to be friends with me. Unable to confide in people because I am the pastor’s wife. Unable to confide in people because I am the pastor’s wife. Many staff within the church are my closest friends. A pastor’s wife may know many things about fellow believers within the congregation because her husband may choose to confide in her regarding certain situations, as happens naturally within a marital relationship. Trust is crucial as well as discretion. Wives may tend to err on the side of caution when it comes to sharing anything personal to a church friend. Depending on the character of the friend the pastor and his wife could be under trial for any misspoken word. Dobson (2004:46) offers advice to young pastors’ wives, “It is important, especially for those who realize that they need a few close friends, to use wisdom in choosing who their friends are and for what purpose”. Similarly, Senter (1979:88) indicates that it was always understood that a pastor’s wife was to be a “friend to all and close companion to none”, however, she implores pastors’ wives to carefully seek out a close friendship or two so as to avoid the loneliness that comes from surface friendships. A couple of the wives interviewed shared a few bad experiences trying to maintain friendships, sometimes feeling used or unfairly judged by their church friends and felt safer to withdraw from keeping any close friends within the church. Some found it easy to make friends, but relied on family members to fulfil the role of a close friend. Due to time schedules having close friends outside of the church was not always possible and work relationships did not necessarily lead to any close friendships. 2.4 Interview Questions The nature of the interview questions were more probing in order to gain further insight into the background and experience of each pastor’s wife. 44
It should be noted that an informal conversation often occurred during interview sections, thus both the author and respondent were able to share personal struggles and encouragement. On average interviews lasted two hours. The answers written below are not verbatim due to grammatical editing or certain name changes (for privacy) which have altered the wording without detracting from the message of the pastor’s wife. 2.4.1 Were any resources made available to you as you took on this role, as the pastor’s wife? If so, what were they? Did you find them helpful? Do you think you would have benefited form reading any resources? 22B5q: I have had some but not as many as I would have liked. The pastor’s wife role varies so much it would be difficult to write something for everyone. The most helpful book for me was One with a Shepherd. 23B3w: No. I haven’t read anything about pastors’ wives and don’t think I would want to, it doesn’t interest me. If there is a need to educate myself about an issue or topic, like counselling or for a bible study then I will do that but I think each pastor’s wife situation is unique and don’t feel I can box them in. 34D5p: I was able to attend a ‘Preacher’s Wives Club’ whilst husband was attending Bible School, once a week for four years. It had a very practical aspect to it, if I were to help an up-and-coming preacher’s wife I would recommend something extremely practical and hands on learning. 12B1s: Nothing – Later on I discovered another pastor’s wife in the same denomination who wrote some books they were easy to relate to and somewhat helpful. 22B3q: None. 23C2y: Husband studied and there was nothing for pastor’s wives on campus. Personally, Joyce Meyers has been a ‘mentor’ in a sense and her ministry has been very encouraging. I feel my primary role is that of being my 45
Page 1 and 2: THE BIBLICAL ROLE OF THE PASTOR’S
Page 3 and 4: ACKOWLEDGEMENTS To my wonderful hus
Page 5 and 6: TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER 1: INTROD
Page 7 and 8: 2.4.3 Do you enjoy your role as the
Page 9 and 10: CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION 5.1 Review of
Page 11 and 12: wife reveals that her role is poorl
Page 13 and 14: Whether through particular need or
Page 15 and 16: local church, with special referenc
Page 17 and 18: 1.2.3. Methodology for Chapter 3: A
Page 19 and 20: CHAPTER 2 Situation Analysis: The P
Page 21 and 22: This chart indicates that the major
Page 23 and 24: The wives interviewed for this rese
Page 25 and 26: identifies some key issues with reg
Page 27 and 28: not specifically selected; they wer
Page 29 and 30: 200 congregants were nominally invo
Page 31 and 32: 2.3.5 How many years have you been
Page 33 and 34: Two wives indicated that they were
Page 35 and 36: congregational members could be rai
Page 37 and 38: ecause their husbands were in essen
Page 39 and 40: 2.3.13 Do you believe Scripture tea
Page 41 and 42: and yet were called upon to fulfil
Page 43: needs also to be clear as to what s
Page 47 and 48: suitable to each wife could be impo
Page 49 and 50: eason or another must work but inev
Page 51 and 52: 23B3w: I feel better now as I have
Page 53 and 54: 23C2y: Developing relationships wit
Page 55 and 56: ecause certain things are left undo
Page 57 and 58: 2.4.7 Have you established any boun
Page 59 and 60: 2.4.8 To what extent is the church
Page 61 and 62: 22B3q: Yes, I believe the church do
Page 63 and 64: 2.4.11 What message would you wish
Page 65 and 66: as a church member or Christian and
Page 67 and 68: immediate family requirements, this
Page 69 and 70: 22B3q: I do regret not having the t
Page 71 and 72: ministry and afford all time and ev
Page 73 and 74: 2.5 Identifying the Role of the Pas
Page 75 and 76: CHAPTER 3 A Biblical Perspective on
Page 77 and 78: everything was very good. Sailhamer
Page 79 and 80: helper has often brought the connot
Page 81 and 82: elationship. For the purpose of thi
Page 83 and 84: Patterson’s article (1991:369) pr
Page 85 and 86: creatures and therefore find it nat
Page 87 and 88: church so that a foundation for the
Page 89 and 90: teaching began to create conflict a
Page 91 and 92: 3.4.2 1 Timothy 3:11: The Female De
Page 93 and 94: office. Fitzmyer’s understanding
Page 95 and 96:
feminist theology, women in leaders
Page 97 and 98:
public duty than any Christian woma
Page 99 and 100:
Edwards and Mathews (2002:27) descr
Page 101 and 102:
move outward to help future pastors
Page 103 and 104:
The majority of pastors’ wives wh
Page 105 and 106:
4.2.1. Directives to the Body of Ch
Page 107 and 108:
within a job portfolio of a deacon.
Page 109 and 110:
within the church as God enables th
Page 111 and 112:
Events of encouragement may differ
Page 113 and 114:
Bare (a pastor’s wife herself) ev
Page 115 and 116:
can place her trust. It is vital th
Page 117 and 118:
Two books of exceptional value rega
Page 119 and 120:
maintain your spiritual self must b
Page 121 and 122:
4.4.5. Mentoring 28 A mentoring pro
Page 123 and 124:
consistent encouragement. Pastors
Page 125 and 126:
wives and to what extent wives unde
Page 127 and 128:
perceived limitations of this role.
Page 129 and 130:
Roberts (1995) and Dobson (2001) of
Page 131 and 132:
Works Cited Adams, Jay E. 1984. She
Page 133 and 134:
Fitzpatrick, Elyse M. 2003. Helper
Page 135 and 136:
Women in the Early Church: Christia
Page 137 and 138:
Roberts, Wes. 1995. Support your lo
Page 139 and 140:
IL: Christianity Today, Inc. Online
Page 141 and 142:
Appendix 2 Additional reading regar
Page 143 and 144:
Grade 12 3,351 14.99 4,684 20.95 8,
Page 145 and 146:
HOUSING PROFILE Type of Dwelling, O
Page 147 and 148:
N.G. Church Somerset- West C/O Dirk
Page 149 and 150:
11. Describe your role in the local
Page 151 and 152:
8. Would you consider yourself the
Page 153 and 154:
1962: The Role of the Minister’s
Page 155 and 156:
Appendix 8: Online Support for Past
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