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The Biblical Role of the Pastor's wife - South African Theological ...

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12B4z: No two ministers’ wives are alike and so <strong>the</strong>re will always be <strong>the</strong><br />

expectation from what <strong>the</strong> previous minister’s <strong>wife</strong> did and when she leaves<br />

<strong>the</strong>y would’ve gotten used to what she does and <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong> new minister’s <strong>wife</strong><br />

will hear what she did (directly or indirectly) feeling like she would have to<br />

‘measure up’ or ‘fill in’. Each minister’s <strong>wife</strong> will bring to <strong>the</strong> ministry her<br />

talents, own spiritual life, personality and upbringing to <strong>the</strong> church. She needs<br />

to serve God in <strong>the</strong> light <strong>of</strong> His Word and with her diversities and <strong>the</strong> church<br />

needs to give her time to show <strong>the</strong>m how she will best do this, knowing that<br />

she first has responsibilities to her husband and family and <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong> church.<br />

22B4w: I would encourage young pastors’ wives to be <strong>the</strong>mselves, be true to<br />

who <strong>the</strong>y are and to know <strong>the</strong>ir identity, enjoy who God has made <strong>the</strong>m to be<br />

and not try to fit a ‘expectation mould’, <strong>the</strong>y cannot be someone <strong>the</strong>y are not.<br />

Enjoy your husband/children – give <strong>the</strong>m a supportive, realistic environment in<br />

which to live and come home to. Walk a close relationship with God, not<br />

because you are expected to but because you need it.<br />

This question was, by far, <strong>the</strong> one I most looked forward to asking.<br />

Although labelled, General Comments, we were able to discuss any topic,<br />

including any advice <strong>the</strong> <strong>wife</strong> would give to a woman starting out in ministry as<br />

a pastor’s <strong>wife</strong>. <strong>The</strong> advice could be summed up in five broad areas which are<br />

listed in no particular order, 1) Support your husband, 2) Talk about ministry<br />

expectations, 3) Trust in <strong>the</strong> Lord and spend time with Him, 4) Make your<br />

home a haven, and 5) Be a friend and make friends. Each <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>se issues<br />

seemed to be vitally important and invaluable in assisting wives to grow and<br />

embrace life as <strong>the</strong> <strong>wife</strong> <strong>of</strong> a pastor.<br />

As most wives were aware <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir husbands calling prior to marriage<br />

<strong>the</strong>ir support and agreement to be in ministry was obvious. All <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> wives<br />

were not averse to being in ministry and indicated <strong>the</strong>y were in ei<strong>the</strong>r part- or<br />

full-time ministry, alongside <strong>the</strong>ir husband. <strong>The</strong> older wives appeared to be<br />

more confident <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir roles and were happy to <strong>of</strong>fer advice to those younger,<br />

understanding <strong>the</strong>ir needs and struggles. Older wives were also more relaxed<br />

in <strong>the</strong>ir roles and more accepting.<br />

72

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