The Biblical Role of the Pastor's wife - South African Theological ...

4.4.5. Mentoring 28
A mentoring programme can be a very good source of encouragement
and accountability for pastors’ wives. I found that the younger wives struggled
to find time and energy to balance their many responsibilities, whereas the
older wives were more confident and had already survived the experience of
being a young pastor’s wife. This experience is invaluable. If it is not possible
for a young pastor’s wife to seek the help and guidance from an experienced
pastor’s wife, then approaching a senior and godly woman of her
congregation may be worthwhile. More experienced, older pastors’ wives
would benefit from coming alongside a younger member of her congregation
or perhaps a younger pastor’s wife where possible. Titus 2 offers guidance to
older women within the church to come alongside younger women. In order to
teach them to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and
pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so
that no one will malign the word of God” (vv. 4-5). I believe this verse
encompasses many of the struggles faced by young woman, but is not
comprehensive enough to perhaps meet all the needs of a young wife and
mother. Understanding who she is as a woman, created in God’s image, as
wife (helper) to her husband, mother to her children and as a believer in God’s
household are all important aspects.
Although Bare (1998:162) indicates that mentoring has flaws, Wilson
(2001) shares that mentoring can be a positive contribution that involves the
caring and loving of another “In our view, care is a facet of love and, like the
Apostle Paul, we suggest that it is the greatest of the virtues. At the heart of
any successful mentor relationship is genuine care and concern for the
protégé”. It is certain that a true and honouring friendship must exist between
the older and younger woman. Bare (1998:162) contends that mentoring is
not always ideal due to the sensitive and private nature of the life of the
pastor’s wife. She may feel uncomfortable to open up and speak freely. This, I
28 For “Creative Ideas for Building Relationships (How to Mentor and be Mentored)” see
Appendix 9.
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