The Biblical Role of the Pastor's wife - South African Theological ...

ministry and afford all time and every phone call to ministry purposes. We’ve
had huge changes from early years in ministry to later years, the most difficult
being the first 10 years when the kids were young and still in school. I
remember I was frustrated because there is not always a ‘knock-off’ time or a
job description for the pastor. A new couple needs clear expectations from the
deaconate and must set clear boundaries up front, they also need to feel they
are able to express all their burdens and hardships with the council so that the
church can be very supportive to the couple when necessary, giving them the
required time away when needed. There are often miscommunications
between you and the church, or vice-versa, unrealistic expectations on both
sides, how they see your role, especially if you are the 2 nd , 3 rd or 4 th pastoral
couple to come along, you should not be expected to fill any bodies shoes,
but rather be free to walk in your own. Misconception of some churches that
they are getting ‘two for the price of one’ – those wives who work in the
church should receive a salary from the church. If the husband is called, the
wife is also called – she must be aware of this calling. Beware of gossip which
can easily hurt you and/or your friends within the church. Ideally – it would be
wonderful to have a senior couple mentoring a new pastoral couple, whether
in the church or from another, prayer partners are also necessary, also a
mother figure to support the wife.
23C2y: None.
12B5t: None.
44D3w: If giving advice to a potential pastor’s wife I would tell them that we
are privileged with very personal information regarding parishioners lives, so it
is of utmost importance that we remain confidential, discreet, sober in
judgment, etc. I would also tell them to respect their husband’s need to study
and give him the needed time for preparation of his sermons. Try to separate
private and church life as much as possible – although your husband is on
duty 24 hours a day and busy most evenings be determined to invest in your
private life. There is a great emotional involvement and it is important to be
each other’s best friends.
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