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Fabiola : or, The church of the catacombs - Digital Repository Services

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mailing in his hopeless rem<strong>or</strong>se from <strong>the</strong> assembly <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />

priests he came upon <strong>the</strong> executioner fashioning <strong>the</strong> cross.<br />

And all this misery was aggravated by <strong>the</strong> respect <strong>of</strong> his<br />

me, <strong>the</strong>y are good fellows but do I make ; friends with <strong>the</strong>m ?<br />

Is <strong>the</strong>re any confidence between us? At <strong>the</strong> canteen, by <strong>the</strong><br />

bivouac fire, I keep alo<strong>of</strong>. Alone always alone. You will<br />

say that is my fault, my choice. Yes, fa<strong>the</strong>r, because it must<br />

be so. I have one thing to do a task which is laid upon me<br />

and I devote myself to it. But that is not enough f<strong>or</strong> me.<br />

<strong>The</strong>re are many s<strong>or</strong>ts <strong>of</strong> expiation; I must go through <strong>the</strong>m<br />

all."<br />

" My po<strong>or</strong> fellow !" said <strong>the</strong> priest, gently.<br />

" Do you know what I was reading when you came in. It<br />

was <strong>the</strong> Bible. Shall I go on reading aloud ?"<br />

" Go on," said <strong>the</strong> Chaplain.<br />

Yves began, and as he read drops <strong>of</strong> agony beaded his f<strong>or</strong>ehead.<br />

"Cain said to his bro<strong>the</strong>r, Let us go f<strong>or</strong>th abroad. And<br />

when <strong>the</strong>y were in <strong>the</strong> field Cain rose up against his bro<strong>the</strong>r<br />

Abel, and slew him.<br />

" And <strong>the</strong> L<strong>or</strong>d said unto Cain, Where is thy bro<strong>the</strong>r Abel ?<br />

And he answered, I know not am I ; my bro<strong>the</strong>r's keeper ?<br />

" And he said to him, What hast thoti done ? <strong>The</strong> voice <strong>of</strong><br />

at thy hand.<br />

"When thou shalt till it, it shall not yield to <strong>the</strong>e its fruit;<br />

a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be upon <strong>the</strong> earth.<br />

" And Cain said to <strong>the</strong> L<strong>or</strong>d, My iniquity is greater than that<br />

I may deserve pardon.<br />

"Behold, thou dost cast me out this day from <strong>the</strong> face <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />

earth, and I shall be hidden from Thy face, and I shall be a<br />

vagabond and a fugitive on <strong>the</strong> earth ; everyone, <strong>the</strong>ref<strong>or</strong>e,<br />

thut finJeth me shall kill me.<br />

"And <strong>the</strong> L<strong>or</strong>d said to him, No, it shall not be so ;<br />

but whosoever<br />

shall kill Cain shall be be punished seven-fold. And<br />

<strong>the</strong> L<strong>or</strong>d set a mark upon Cain. "<br />

Yves read <strong>the</strong>se verses slowly, in a low, stifled voice, and<br />

when he had done so he put down <strong>the</strong> book, told his own his-<br />

t<strong>or</strong>y to <strong>the</strong> priest, and <strong>the</strong>n, looking into his face, exclaimed:<br />

" Now you know why I cannot die. I attempted <strong>the</strong> life <strong>of</strong><br />

my bro<strong>the</strong>r, and God has set a mark upon me, and Death will<br />

not strike mo. Now you see why I can never have a i'rii ml.<br />

You thought well <strong>of</strong> mo, fa<strong>the</strong>r, but I have been a bad sou, an<br />

THE STItA W-C UTTKK 'A' DA I 'OUTER. 13<br />

1<br />

On a certain dny, fa<strong>the</strong>r, our cure told me to save ten lives, and<br />

he promised me God's f<strong>or</strong>: And that in inv w<strong>or</strong>k.<br />

But I begin to think my burden is too heavy<br />

ill ;it h that is all I long f<strong>or</strong>."<br />

f<strong>or</strong> me. 1 ><br />

superi<strong>or</strong> <strong>of</strong>ficers, by <strong>the</strong> affection <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> chaplain.<br />

"What am I," he cried, in <strong>the</strong> bitterness <strong>of</strong> his soul, "but<br />

an assassin and a thief ? If <strong>the</strong>y knew <strong>the</strong> truth, <strong>the</strong>y would<br />

sc<strong>or</strong>n and hate me <strong>the</strong>y would shun me as one stricken with<br />

<strong>the</strong> plague <strong>the</strong>y would point at me as a monster <strong>of</strong> wickedness.<br />

<strong>The</strong> general would tear <strong>the</strong> cross from my button-hole.<br />

Praise, respect, affection it is all stolen. I will wear this<br />

hideous mask <strong>of</strong> hypocrisy no longer. "<br />

One day <strong>the</strong> chaplain, <strong>the</strong> AbbS Fl<strong>or</strong>ent, found him sitting<br />

alone in <strong>the</strong> tent. He had a book in his hand, but he was not<br />

reading; his lips moved as though he were repeating something<br />

he had learned by heart.<br />

"<br />

My friend," said <strong>the</strong> priest, gently.<br />

"<br />

I do not deserve to have a friend," answered Yves.<br />

"Yet you greatly need one."<br />

"I do, and I do not."<br />

"<br />

Explain yourself, Yves."<br />

"A friend a real friend should be our second self."<br />

"Quite true."<br />

" And we should have no secrets from him."<br />

" Not when it is possible."<br />

" It must be possible," said <strong>the</strong> soldier, gloomily.<br />

" "<br />

Not al\*wys, Yves. When <strong>the</strong> wound is scarred<br />

"And if it is a shameful one? "<br />

<strong>The</strong> Abb6 Fl<strong>or</strong>ent clasped him in his arms. "My frieud,<br />

my bro<strong>the</strong>r !" he said.<br />

"Your friend your<br />

" No matter, if God has healed it."<br />

"Afriend!" Yves burst out passionately. "I have none;<br />

I never shall have one it is impossible. My comrades like<br />

bro<strong>the</strong>r after what I have told you ?"<br />

"Yves," continued <strong>the</strong> chaplain, "you must let me read<br />

your imrnost soul now. I can heal all its wounds."<br />

He shook his head.<br />

" You think that is impossible ? "<br />

"<br />

I am sure*it is."<br />

" Tell me, Yves, what do you want? what is in your mind?"<br />

" It is not <strong>the</strong> present, but <strong>the</strong> future, that I am thinking <strong>of</strong>."<br />

" And what do you wish to do in <strong>the</strong> future?"<br />

" To lead a life <strong>of</strong> silence, solitude, and prayer. To live<br />

with good and holy men, who would know my hist<strong>or</strong>y, and yet<br />

let me be with <strong>the</strong>m. To be <strong>the</strong> lowest <strong>of</strong> all, <strong>the</strong> servant <strong>of</strong><br />

all, and to feel that God has f<strong>or</strong>given me. To drink <strong>the</strong> chalice<br />

<strong>of</strong> humiliation to <strong>the</strong> very dregs, and to satisfy <strong>the</strong> justice, <strong>the</strong><br />

implacable justice <strong>of</strong> God."<br />

" A merciful justice, Yves do not ; f<strong>or</strong>get that."<br />

"Yesterday," he went on, "I was so happy as to save three<br />

little children, whom <strong>the</strong> Sisters <strong>of</strong> Charity have received.<br />

That makes eight lives saved in five years <strong>the</strong> number will<br />

;<br />

soon be made up, please God, and <strong>the</strong>n what shall I do ?"<br />

"First go back to your home."<br />

" Go back ! I !"<br />

"F<strong>or</strong> a tune. First <strong>of</strong> all, go to your good curC, and tell<br />

him that your penance is accomplished ; <strong>the</strong>n go to your<br />

fa<strong>the</strong>r's farm."<br />

" Go <strong>the</strong>re and see <strong>the</strong>m again ! all <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>m !" murmured<br />

<strong>the</strong> soldier.<br />

"Yes, all. Your parents, to get <strong>the</strong>ir f<strong>or</strong>giveness; Aubin<br />

that good Aubin to make him happy."<br />

"<br />

"AndArmelle<br />

" To see her your bro<strong>the</strong>r's happy wife."<br />

" True ;<br />

that is part <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> penance."<br />

"And <strong>the</strong>n"<br />

" Yes, <strong>the</strong>n"<br />

" <strong>The</strong>n you shall leave Saint Aubin du C<strong>or</strong>mier, and go to<br />

M<strong>or</strong>bihan. Go to <strong>the</strong> Abbey <strong>of</strong> Thymadeuc, and ask to see<br />

<strong>the</strong> Abbot <strong>of</strong> La Trappe. Tell him everything ; speak to him<br />

as openly as you have spoken to me, and ask to be received as<br />

a bro<strong>the</strong>r. You will be able to make a confession <strong>of</strong> your<br />

whole life bef<strong>or</strong>e <strong>the</strong>m all, and to realize <strong>the</strong> longing you have<br />

just expressed that <strong>of</strong> living with holy men acquainted with<br />

your sad hist<strong>or</strong>y."<br />

" You are saving me !" exclaimed Yves.<br />

" I have shown you a safe harb<strong>or</strong>, but one which is not without<br />

its lab<strong>or</strong>s and st<strong>or</strong>ms. <strong>The</strong>re will be every kind <strong>of</strong> hard<br />

thy bro<strong>the</strong>r's blood crieth to Me from <strong>the</strong> earth.<br />

"Now, <strong>the</strong>ref<strong>or</strong>e, cursed shalt thou be upon <strong>the</strong> earth, which penance everything<br />

hath opened her mouth and received <strong>the</strong> blood <strong>of</strong> thy bro<strong>the</strong>r<br />

to subject <strong>the</strong> flesh to <strong>the</strong> : spirit absolute<br />

silence, trying fasts, wearisome watchiugs. <strong>The</strong>re will be<br />

everything to tear <strong>the</strong> heart from earth and fix it on heaven ;<br />

everything to confound human wisdom, to exalt <strong>the</strong> soul by<br />

humbling it, and to purchase eternal happiness at <strong>the</strong> jn-irc c>i<br />

daily martyrdom. That will be your life, and it is a hard<br />

one."<br />

" <strong>The</strong> innocent and good accept it. Shall I complain ?"<br />

From that day Yves was a different man. <strong>The</strong> future, which<br />

had been so terrible because it was vague and uiulciiniM.<br />

bef<strong>or</strong>e him now in a tangible shape. His thoughts dwelt on<br />

that severe life <strong>of</strong> lab<strong>or</strong> and penance with love and longing.<br />

To live by daily dying that was <strong>the</strong> life f<strong>or</strong> him.<br />

<strong>The</strong> army returned to France, and Yves got his discharge.<br />

Tears were in his eyes when he took leave <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> Abbo Fl<strong>or</strong>eut,<br />

promising to write to him. <strong>The</strong>n he started f<strong>or</strong> St. Aubin du<br />

C<strong>or</strong>mier. Two comrades were with him, who belonged to<br />

neighb<strong>or</strong>ing villages: Yves was dec<strong>or</strong>e, and w<strong>or</strong>e a niedal f<strong>or</strong><br />

each <strong>of</strong> his gl<strong>or</strong>ious campaigns.<br />

When tho three soldiers reached Rennes it was night, but<br />

Yves was anxious to go on ; and as his friends would not leave

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