Fabiola : or, The church of the catacombs - Digital Repository Services
Fabiola : or, The church of the catacombs - Digital Repository Services
Fabiola : or, The church of the catacombs - Digital Repository Services
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would see Denise, that he would pour f<strong>or</strong>th at her feet <strong>the</strong> pas<br />
sionate emotions <strong>of</strong> his heart, and hear from her <strong>the</strong> w<strong>or</strong>ds<br />
which would give him courage to face his own family, and as<br />
sert his own independence. As he hurried along <strong>the</strong> street, some<br />
one tapped him on <strong>the</strong> shoulder. He turned around, and saw<br />
that it was Dr. Dubois.<br />
" You here, M. Ge<strong>or</strong>ge? " "<br />
<strong>the</strong> physician said. How are you<br />
all at La Pinede? I hope Madame la Comtesse is well, and<br />
feels no pain in her arm now. By <strong>the</strong> way, I supnose she was<br />
satisfied with <strong>the</strong> garde malade I recommended. She is a capital<br />
hand at nursing, that fair'lady, and will make an excellent<br />
Sister <strong>of</strong> Charity. Not but that I think it ra<strong>the</strong>r a pity that<br />
such a beautiful face should be hid under a c<strong>or</strong>nette, much as I<br />
love and revere that strange head-dress."<br />
"What do you mean, Dr. Dubois?" Ge<strong>or</strong>ge stammered in a<br />
" "<br />
nervous manner. Does Mdlle. do la Pinede intend<br />
" Intend, my good sir ! she went yesterday to <strong>the</strong> hospital at<br />
Marseilles, and is at this moment, I have no doubt, already at<br />
w<strong>or</strong>k under <strong>the</strong> Sisters. I saw her just bef<strong>or</strong>e her departure.<br />
No bride ever looked brighter and happier. Women are wonderful<br />
when <strong>the</strong>y get what <strong>the</strong>y call a vocation, and take to be<br />
saints. <strong>The</strong>re is a bit <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> soldier, too, in <strong>the</strong>se Sisters <strong>of</strong><br />
Charity. I like <strong>the</strong>m f<strong>or</strong> that. <strong>The</strong>y are afraid <strong>of</strong> nothing.<br />
Good night, M. Ge<strong>or</strong>ge. Give my kind respects to M. le Comte<br />
and Madame la Comtesse."<br />
Gone! gone f<strong>or</strong>ever! Severed from him, not by a grate, <strong>or</strong><br />
by convent walls, but by a life as hopelessly separated from his<br />
own as if an abyss had opened between <strong>the</strong>m. Ge<strong>or</strong>ge felt<br />
stunned, and mechanically walked on to <strong>the</strong> ramparts till he<br />
came to a bench, and <strong>the</strong>re he sat looking at <strong>the</strong> sea and <strong>the</strong><br />
starry sky with a s<strong>or</strong>t <strong>of</strong> hopeless, dull dejection. None knew<br />
what had been <strong>the</strong> sufferings <strong>of</strong> his soul during <strong>the</strong> last three<br />
years.<br />
He had led a very strange, a very lonely life, with no inward<br />
light as to his own state <strong>of</strong> mind, puzzled about himself as much<br />
as o<strong>the</strong>rs were about him. From <strong>the</strong> moment he had seen De-<br />
nise, <strong>the</strong> apathy which had so long oppressed him disappeared.<br />
His admiration his love at first sight f<strong>or</strong> her seemed to<br />
awaken his d<strong>or</strong>mant faculties. Her faith and her enthusiasm<br />
rekindled smouldering sparks which had languished in his soul.<br />
Ge<strong>or</strong>ge had never lost his belief in religion, <strong>or</strong> entirely omitted<br />
its most essential duties; but since his illness he had not thought<br />
much about it. His piety, if he had any, was <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> vaguest<br />
description a s<strong>or</strong>t <strong>of</strong> almost pan<strong>the</strong>istic w<strong>or</strong>ship <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> beauties<br />
<strong>of</strong> nature a poetical and dreamy religious feeling, such as<br />
inspired Vict<strong>or</strong> Hugo in his earlier days, and Lamartine when<br />
he wrote his meditations, and had not yet indulged in wild<br />
sophistry and heretical aberrations.<br />
But Demse's faith had struck him as something at once<br />
divine and real. During <strong>the</strong> three weeks she had spent at<br />
La Pinede <strong>the</strong> life <strong>of</strong> his soul had revived but it was only<br />
a reflected light as yet. During her absence he had suffered<br />
deeply. Her presence had been <strong>the</strong> delight, and at <strong>the</strong> same<br />
time <strong>the</strong> strength, as it were, <strong>of</strong> his existence. It wa%-as if a<br />
blind person had f<strong>or</strong> a while, in some strange manner, seen and<br />
gazed on a w<strong>or</strong>ld new to him, and <strong>the</strong>n that <strong>the</strong> light had gone<br />
out and left him in his previous darkness. But still he had<br />
lived on <strong>the</strong> mem<strong>or</strong>y <strong>of</strong> those days. He had looked to <strong>the</strong>ir renewal<br />
; he had seen bright visions, and dreamed hopeless dreams,<br />
till that moment when, sitting in <strong>the</strong> deepening shades <strong>of</strong> night,<br />
he felt <strong>the</strong> old, hard, dull feeling in his heart returning, only<br />
with a m<strong>or</strong>e aching oppression than bef<strong>or</strong>e.<br />
At last he rose, and with feverish speed retraced his steps.<br />
It was <strong>the</strong>n that <strong>the</strong> little shepherds thought <strong>the</strong>y saw a ghost<br />
pass <strong>the</strong>m on <strong>the</strong> road: it was <strong>the</strong>n that he silently slipped into<br />
his room; <strong>the</strong>n that he took out <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir box <strong>the</strong> toys <strong>of</strong> little<br />
Denise de la Pinede, and wept over <strong>the</strong>m as a child; <strong>the</strong>n that<br />
he felt careless <strong>of</strong> his own destiny, indifferent to his own life<br />
anything <strong>the</strong>n he could endure except a struggle, except ano<strong>the</strong>r<br />
allusion to his vain love f<strong>or</strong> that angel who had disappeared f<strong>or</strong><br />
ever from his sight; <strong>the</strong>n that h had yielded that calm, supiue<br />
SHE XO'l'ARY'S UM'tiUTEK. 29<br />
consent to a marriage which could not make him m<strong>or</strong>e miser-<br />
able than he was, and at any rate would content otlirr-,<br />
When Demse's letter was given to linn, lie cairn i! it<br />
have said, into <strong>the</strong> (-impel where ho had last seen her. lit nail<br />
it on his kuees, and it soo<strong>the</strong>d Ins anguish. Tin- idea that ill<br />
prayer, at least, she would sometimes think <strong>of</strong> him, relieved<br />
<strong>the</strong> .sharp pain at his heart. He rejoiced<br />
made. It seemed to keep up a s<strong>or</strong>t <strong>of</strong> link<br />
at <strong>the</strong> vow he<br />
between <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
had<br />
He<br />
did not pray, unless <strong>the</strong>re was tacit prayer in <strong>the</strong> tears h<br />
in our L<strong>or</strong>d's presence, and his silent ga/e at Hie iahernacl