The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

121
Were there nae SPEERINGS of our Mungo Park--
Ye'll be the gentleman that wants the sark?
If ye wad buy a web o' auld wife's spinning
I'll warrant ye it's a weel-wearing linen."
Then up got Peg, and round the house 'gan scuttle
In search of goods her customer to nail,
Until the Sultaun strain'd his princely throttle
And hallo'd--"Ma'am, that is not what I ail.
Pray, are you happy, ma'am, in this snug glen?"--
"Happy?" said Peg; "What for d'ye want to ken?
Besides, just think upon this by-gane year,
Grain wadna pay the yoking of the pleugh."--
"What say you to the present?"--"Meal's sae dear,
To make their brose my bairns have scarce aneugh."--
"The devil take the shirt," said Solimaun,
"I think my quest will end as it began.--
Farewell, ma'am; nay, no ceremony, I beg"--
"Ye'll no be for the linen then?" said Peg.
Now, for the land of verdant Erin,
The Sultaun's royal bark is steering,
The Emerald Isle, where honest Paddy dwells,
The cousin of John Bull, as story tells.
For a long space had John, with words of thunder
Hard looks, and harder knocks, kept Paddy under,
Till the poor lad, like boy that's flogg'd unduly,
Had gotten somewhat restive and unruly.
Hard was his lot and lodging, you'll allow,
A wigwam that would hardly serve a sow;
His landlord, and of middle men two brace,
Had screw'd his rent up to the starving-place;
His garment was a top-coat, and an old one,
His meal was a potato, and a cold one;
But still for fun or frolic, and all that,
In the round world was not the match of Pat.
The Sultaun saw him on a holiday,
Which is with Paddy still a jolly day;
When mass is ended, and his load of sins
Confess'd, and Mother Church hath from her binns
Dealt forth a bonus of imputed merit,