The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

604
Borne on the air, the CATacoustic song
Swells with her virtues' CATalogue along;
No CATaplasm could lengthen out her years,
Though mourning friends shed CATaracts of tears.
Once loud and strong her CATachist-like voice
It dwindled to a CATcall's squeaking noise;
Most CATegorical her virtues shone,
By CATenation join'd each one to one;--
But a vile CATchpoll dog, with cruel bite,
Like CATling's cut, her strength disabled quite;
Her CATerwauling pierced the heavy air,
As CATaphracts their arms through legions bear;
'Tis vain! as CATerpillars drag away
Their lengths, like CATtle after busy day,
She ling'ring died, nor left in kit KAT the
Embodyment of this CATastrophe.
A NEW SONG
OF NEW SIMILES.
JOHN BAY
My passion is as mustard strong;
I sit all sober sad;
Drunk as a piper all day long,
Or like a March-hare mad.
Round as a hoop the bumpers flow;
I drink, yet can't forget her;
For though as drunk as David's sow
I love her still the better.
Pert as a pear-monger I'd be,
If Molly were but kind;
Cool as a cucumber could see
The rest of womankind.
Like a stuck pig I gaping stare,
And eye her o'er and o'er;