The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

505
The sum had ris'n to two-and-twenty pounds.
Our cautious legislature--well 'tis known--
Round savings-banks a guardian fence has thrown:
'Tis easy to pay into them, no doubt,
Though any thing but easy to draw out.
And so JAMES TAYLOR found; for on a day
He wanted twenty pounds a bill to pay,
And, short of cash, unto the bank applied;
Failing some form of law, he was denied!
JAMES TAYLOR humm'd and haw'd--look'd blank and blue;--
In short, JAMES TAYLOR knew not what to do:
His creditor was stern--the bill was over due.
As to a friend he did his plight deplore--
The worthy dame of whom I spoke before--
(It might cause pain to give the name she owns,
So let me use the pseudonym of JONES);
"TAYLOR," said MRS. JONES, "as I'm a friend,
I do not care if I the money lend.
But even friends security should hold:
Give me security--I'll lend the gold."
"This savings-bank deposit-book!" he cries.
"See--in my daughter's name the sum that lies!"
She saw--and, satisfied, the money lent;
Wherewith JAMES TAYLOR went away content.
But now what cares seize MRS. JONES'S breast!
What terrors throng her once unbroken rest!
Cash she could keep, in many a secret nook--
But where to stow away JAMES TAYLOR'S book?
Money is heavy: where 'tis put 't will stay;
Paper--as WILLIAM COBBETT used to say--
Will make wings to itself, and fly away!
Long she devised: new plans the old ones chase,
Until at last she hit upon a place.
Was't VENUS that the strange concealment planned,
Or rather PLUTUS'S irreverent hand?
Good MRS. JONES was of a scraggy make;
But when did woman vanity forsake?
What nature sternly to her form denied,
A Bustle's ample aid had well supplied,