The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

648
For finding it a poorish trade,
He also dealt in SNUFF.
If e'er you said "GO OUT, I pray,"
He much ill nature show'd;
On such occasions he would say,
"Vy, if I do, I'M BLOW'D"
In this his friends do all agree,
Although you'll think I'm joking,
When GOING OUT 'tis said that he
Was very fond of SMOKING.
Since all religion he despised,
Let these few words suffice,
Before he ever was baptized
They DIPP'D him once or twice.
POETRY ON AN IMPROVED PRINCIPLE.
A RENCONTER WITH A TEA-TOTALLER.
PUNCH.
On going forth last night, a friend to see,
I met a man by trade a s-n-o-B;
Reeling along the path he held his way.
"Ho! ho!" quoth I, "he's d-r-u-n-K"
Then thus to him--"Were it not better, far,
You were a little s-o-b-e-R?
'T were happier for your family, I guess,
Than playing of such rum r-i-g-S.
Besides, all drunkards, when policemen see 'em,
Are taken up at once by t-h-e-M."
'Me drunk!" the cobbler cried, "the devil trouble you
You want to kick up a blest r-o-W.
Now, may I never wish to work for Hoby,
If drain I've had!" (the lying s-n-O-B!)
I've just return'd from a tee-total party,
Twelve on us jamm'd in a spring c-a-R-P.