The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

232
'Tis ordered (to deaf ears, alas!)
To praise the bridge o'er which we pass
Yet often I discover
A numerous band who daily make
An easy bridge of thy poor back,
And damn it when they 're over.
Why art thou, then, with cup in hand,
Obsequious to a graceless band,
Whose souls are scarce worth taking;
O prince, pursue but my advice,
I'll teach your highness in a trice
To set them all a quaking.
Plays, operas, masquerades, destroy:
Lock up each charming fille de joie;
Give race-horses the glander--
The dice-box break, and burn each card--
Let virtue be its own reward,
And gag the mouth of slander;
In one week's time, I'll lay my life,
There's not a man, nor maid, nor wife,
That will not glad agree,
If thou will chaim'em as before,
To show their nose at church no more,
But quit their God for thee.
Tis now full time my ode should end:
And now I tell thee like a friend,
Howe'er the world may scout thee;
Thy ways are all so wond'rous winning,
And folks so very fond of sinning,
They can not do without thee.
THE KING OF SPAIN AND THE HORSE.
PETER PINDAR.
In seventeen hundred seventy-eight,