The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

268
Wherefore it was they humbly pray'd
That Honorable Nursery,
That such reforms be henceforth made,
As all good men desired to see;--
In other words (lest they might seem
Too tedious) as the gentlest scheme
For putting all such pranks to rest,
And in its bud the mischief nipping--
They ventured humbly to suggest
His Majesty should have a whipping!
When this was read--no Congreve rocket
Discharged into the Gallic trenches,
E'er equall'd the tremendous shock it
Produc'd upon the Nursery Benches.
The Bishops, who, of course had votes,
By right of age and petticoats,
Were first and foremost in the fuss--
"What, whip a Lama!--suffer birch
To touch his sacred---infamous!
Deistical!--assailing thus
The fundamentals of the Church!
No--no--such patriot plans as these
(So help them Heaven--and their sees!)
They held to be rank blasphemies."
The alarm thus given, by these and other
Grave ladies of the Nursery side,
Spread through the land, till, such a pother
Such party squabbles, far and wide,
Never in history's page had been
Recorded, as were then between
The Whippers and Non-whippers seen.
Till, things arriving at a state
Which gave some fears of revolution,
The patriot lords' advice, though late,
Was put at last in execution.
The Parliament of Thibet met--
The little Lama call'd before it,
Did, then and there, his whipping get,And (as the Nursery Gazette
Assures us) like a hero bore it.