The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

164
People that "they can't brew their malt liquor too small!"
That an ancient Welsh Poet, one PYNDAR AP TUDOR,
Was right in proclaiming "ARISTON MEN UDOR!"
Which means "The pure Element
Is for Man's belly meant!"
And that GIN'S but a SNARE of Old Nick the deluder!
And "still on each evening when pleasure fills up,"
At the old Goat-in-Boots, with Metheglin, each cup
Mr. Pryce, if he's there,
Will get into "The Chair,"
And make all his QUONDAM associates stare
By calling aloud to the Landlady's daughter,
"Patty, bring a cigar, and a glass of Spring Water!"
The dial he constantly watches; and when
The long hand's at the "XII.," and the short at the "X.,"
He gets on his legs,
Drains his glass to the dregs,
Takes his hat and great-coat off their several pegs,
With his President's hammer bestows his last knock,
And says solemnly--"Gentlemen!
LOOK AT THE CLOCK!!!"
[Illustration: LAMB.]
THE BAGMAN'S DOG.
R.HARRIS BARHAM.
Stant littore Puppies!--VIRGIL.
It was a litter, a litter of five,
Four are drown'd, and one left alive,
He was thought worthy alone to survive;
And the Bagman resolved upon bringing him up,
To eat of his bread, and to drink of his cup,
He was such a dear little cock-tail'd pup!
The Bagman taught him many a trick;