The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

466
OILY. Amazement!--but I now remember well.
We had an awkward, new provincial hand,
A fellow from the country. Sir, he did
More damage to my business in a week
Than all my skill can in a year repair.
He must have cut your hair.
JONES (looking at him). No--'twas yourself.
OILY. Myself! Impossible!You must mistake.
JONES. I don't mistake--'twas you that cut my hair.
[A long pause, interrupted only by the clipping of the scissors.
OILY. Your hair is very dry, sir.
JONES. Oh! indeed.
OILY. Our Vegetable Extract moistens it.
JONES. I like it dry.
OILY. But, sir, the hair when dry.
Turns quickly gray.
JONES. That color I prefer,
OILY. But hair, when gray, will rapidly fall off,
And baldness will ensue.
JONES. I would be bald.
OILY. Perhaps you mean to say you'd like a wig.--
We've wigs so natural they can't be told
From real hair.
JONES. Deception I detest.