The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

405
Indeed, indeed, I'm very, very sick!
[EXIT HASTILY.]
THE THEATER.
[Footnote:"'The Theater,' by the Rev. G. Crabbe, we rather think,
is the best piece in the collection. It is an exquisite and most
masterly imitation, not only of the peculiar style, but of the taste,
temper, and manner of description of that most original author. * * *
It does not aim, of course, at any shadow of his pathos or moral
sublimity, but seems to us to be a singularly faithful copy of his
passages of mere description."--Edinburg Review.]
[A BURLESQUE IMITATION OF CEABBE.--REJECTED ADDRESSES.]
JAMES SMITH.
Interior of a Theater described.--Pit gradually fills.-The
Check-taker.--Pit full.--The Orchestra tuned.--One Fiddle rather
dilatory.--Is reproved--and repents.--Evolutions of a Play-bill.--Its
final Settlement on the Spikes.--The Gods taken to task--and why.--
Motley Group of Play-goers.--Holywell-street, St. Pancras.--Emanuel
Jennings binds his Son apprentice--not in London--and why.--Episode of
the Hat.
'Tis sweet to view, from half-past five to six,
Our long wax-candles, with short cotton wicks,
Touched by the lamplighter's Promethean art,
Start into light, and make the lighter start;
To see red Phoebus through the gallery-pane
Tinge with his beams the beams of Drury Lane;
While gradual parties fill our widened pit,
And gape, and gaze, and wonder, ere they sit.
At first, while vacant seats give choice and ease,
Distant or near, they settle where they please;
But when the multitude contracts the span,
And seats are rare, they settle where they can.
Now the full benches to late comers doom
No room for standing, miscalled STANDING-ROOM.