The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

245
Then shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how),
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes;
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.
So his lordship decreed with a grave solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one IF or BUT--
That, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By daylight or candlelight--Eyes should be shut!
HOLY WILLIE'S PRAYER.
[Footnote: Kennedy gives the following account of the origin of "Holy
Willie's Prayer;"--Gavin Hamilton, Esq., Clerk of Ayr, the Poet's
friend and benefactor was accosted one Sunday morning by a mendicant,
who begged alms of him. Not recollecting that it was the Sabbath,
Hamilton set the man to work in his garden, which lay on lay on the
public road, and the poor fellow was discovered by the people on their
way to the kirk, and they immediately stoned him from the ground. For
this offense, Mr. Hamilton was not permitted to have a child
christened, which his wife bore him soon afterward, until he applied
to the synod. His most officious opponent was William Fisher, one of
the elders of the church: and to revenge the insult to his friend,
Burns made him the subject of this humorous ballad.]
ROBERT BURNS.
O Thou, wha in the heavens dost dwell,
Wha, as it pleases best thysel',
Sends ane to heaven, and ten to hell,
A' for thy glory,
And no for ony giud or ill
They've done afore thee!
I bless and praise thy matchless might,
When thousands thou hast left in night,
That I am here, afore thy sight.
For gifts an' grace,
A burnin' an' a shinin' light
To a' this place.