The Humourous Poetry of the English Language

586
All dainty meats I do defy
Which feed men fat as swine,
He is a frugal man indeed
That on a leaf can dine!
He needs no napkin for his hands,
His finger's ends to wipe,
That keeps his kitchen in a box,
And roast meat in his pipe!
AN ESSAY ON THE UNDERSTANDING.
"Harry, I can not think," says Dick,
"What makes my ANKLES grow so thick:"
"You do not recollect," says Harry,
"How great a CALF they have to carry."
TO A LIVING AUTHOR.
Your comedy I've read, my friend,
And like the half you pilfer'd best;
But sure the piece you yet may mend:
Take courage, man! and steal the rest.
EPIGRAMS BY THOMAS HOOD.
ON THE ART-UNIONS.
That picture-raffles will conduce to nourish
Design, or cause good coloring to flourish,
Admits of logic-chopping and wise sawing,
But surely lotteries encourage drawing.
THE SUPERIORITY OF MACHINERY.
A mechanic his labor will often discard
If the rate of his pay he dislikes:
But a clock--and its case is uncommonly hard--
Will continue to work though it STRIKES.