MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

The twelfth step of humility is that a monk should always manifest
humility to those who see him not only in his heart, but also in his
body; that is, at the Work of God, in the oratory, in the monastery,
in the garden, on a journey, or in the field. Wherever he sits,
walks, or stands, his head should be always bowed and his gaze
fixed on the earth. Judging himself guilty of his sins at every hour,
he should consider himself already present at the last judgment and
say continually in his heart what the Publican in the Gospel said
with his eyes cast down to the earth, “Lord, I am a sinner,
unworthy to look up heaven” (Mt 8:8, Lk 18:13-14). 176
On Bernard’s reading of Benedict’s steps, the monk who has scaled this highest step of
humility is the model of humble self-knowledge, one who has reached the first step of
Truth by honest self-judgment. Ceaselessly judging himself in accordance with the
Truth, in the sight of the divine Judge before whom he will one day be required to give an
account of himself, he is fully and ever aware of his fallen sinfulness and weakness and
therefore shielded against the temptations of amor propriae excellentiae and its delusions
of superior holiness. In contrast to the Pharisee of Christ’s parable who proudly exalts
himself, boasting of his own superior holiness and deriding all others as inferior to
himself, this monk is like the Publican of the same parable who ceaselessly humbles
himself before God, acknowledging and confessing his sinfulness and unworthiness of
heaven.
In this twelfth step of humility, moreover, the monk’s sensible, bodily bearing
both manifests and corroborates his interior humility of heart. Bowed down in his heart,
he keeps his head bowed to the earth. With his eyes cast down, he has no occasion to see
176 RB 7.62-65: “Duodecimus humilitatis gradus est si non solum corde monachus sed etiam ipso
corde humilitatem videntibus se semper indicet, id est in opere Dei, in oratorio, in monasterio, in horto, in
via, in agro vel ubicumque sedens, ambulans vel stans, inclinato sit semper capite, defixis in terram
aspectibus, reum se omni hora de peccatis suis aestimans iam se tremendo iudicio repraesentari aestimet,
dicens sibi in corde semper illud quod publicanus ille evangelicus fixis in terram oculis dixit: Domine non
sum dignus, ego peccator, levare oculos meos ad caelos.”
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