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MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

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Prior to its first conversion, Bernard believes, the soul does possess a certain self-<br />

knowledge, but only a false self-knowledge, or better a self-deception, born of pride.<br />

Inflated with conceit, this soul, which is in truth so unlike God, deceives itself into<br />

believing that it is not, in fact, a disfigured image of God, but somehow like him, and<br />

therefore not in need of his healing grace. This self-deception, which, as we will see,<br />

assumes different forms according to the measure of the soul’s pride, effectively blinds<br />

the soul to the sad truth of its sinful self-disfigurement and so prevents the soul from<br />

seeking the divine healing it so desperately requires. Once we understand Bernard’s<br />

teaching on this self-deception and its persuasive power, we will better able to see<br />

precisely why he insists so frequently and forcefully on the need for that humbling self-<br />

knowledge which previous scholarship has found so essential to his doctrine. For if, as<br />

he believes, the proud soul suffers not simply from self-ignorance, but also from self-<br />

deception, it will only be through an honest, unflinching self-examination and self-<br />

judgment that the soul will be able to expose its prior self-delusions as false and face the<br />

true, and painful, reality of its own self-disfigurement.<br />

Yet, the humbling self-knowledge the soul acquires in this painful self-judgment<br />

is far from Bernard’s final word on the matter of the soul’s self-knowledge. For just as<br />

this humbling self-awareness unmasks the soul’s former self-deception, it also moves the<br />

soul to turn to God, to seek his mercy, forgiveness, and healing for its disfigurement. As<br />

God greets this humble soul with the mercy it seeks, he begins to refashion it in the lost<br />

divine likeness, re-creating it in the image of the Incarnate Word and suffusing it with<br />

that beauty the Word-made-flesh models in the mysteries of his incarnate life. As the<br />

soul experiences this transforming grace of God within itself, it begins to know itself in a<br />

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