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MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

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sins. He experiences no vengeful blow from heaven, but only the new and delightful<br />

pleasure he finds in the gratification of his fleshly cravings. So he sins again and more<br />

deeply, wading still further into the whirlpool of vice in search of more and even greater<br />

delights. Describing this gradual descent, Bernard writes:<br />

When by the terrible judgment of God he finds that his first steps<br />

into sin meet with no punishment, he freely enjoys again the<br />

pleasure he has experienced, and this pleasure grows sweet. His<br />

former desires revive, his reason is lulled to sleep, and habit begins<br />

to bind him. So the miserable man is drawn into an abyss of evil<br />

and handed over captive to the tyranny of his vices, so much so<br />

that he is absorbed in the whirlpool of his fleshly desires and soon<br />

forgets his own reason and the fear of God, and “the fool says in<br />

his heart, ‘There is no God’” (Ps 13:1). By now he does whatever<br />

pleases him without regard to what is lawful. He does not restrain<br />

his mind, his hands, and his feet from sinful thoughts, works, and<br />

pursuits. Whatever comes into his heart, his lips, or his hands, he<br />

wickedly designs, vainly speaks, and viciously carries out. 224<br />

By this slippery passage from the freedom to sin to the twelfth step of pride, the habit of<br />

sinning, the proud man inverts Benedict’s first step of humility, that the monk should<br />

“keep the fear of God always before his eyes and never forget it.” 225 For Benedict, this<br />

means that the monk will ceaselessly ruminate on all that God has commanded and keep<br />

in mind that he will one day be judged by God in accordance with his fidelity to these<br />

commandments. He will therefore restrain himself from vices and sins of thought and<br />

tongue, hand and feet, self-will or fleshly desires, ever mindful that he is always seen by<br />

224 Hum 51 (III, 54): “Et postquam terribili Dei iudicio prima flagitia impunitas sequitur, experta<br />

voluptas libenter repetitur, repetita blanditur. Concupiscentia reviviscente, sopitur ratio, ligat consuetudo<br />

Trahitur miser in profundum malorum, traditur captivus tyrannidi vitiorum, ita ut carnalium voragine<br />

desideriorum absorptus, suae rationis divini que timoris oblitus, dicat <strong>IN</strong>SIPIENS <strong>IN</strong> CORDE SUO: NON<br />

EST DEUS. Iam indifferenter libitis pro licitis utitur, iam ab illicitis cogitandis, patrandis, investigandis<br />

animus, manus vel pedes non prohibentur; sed quidquid in cor, in buccam, ad manum venerit, machinatur,<br />

garrit, et operatur, malevolus, vaniloquus, facinorosus.”<br />

225 RB 7.10: “Primus itaque humilitatis gradus est si, timorem Dei sibi ante oculos semper ponens,<br />

oblivionem omnino fugiat.”<br />

147

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