MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

gradually assuming the figure of Christ’s Bride, as Christ’s own Beloved, radiant with his
own beauty.
In Chapter 2, through our study of Bernard’s On the Steps of Humility and Pride,
we examined his doctrine of pride and self-deception by tracing what we have called the
abbot’s account of the “descent” of self-deception. For Bernard, as we saw, the origin of
all self-deception is superbia or pride, that misguided love of one’s own excellence that
so swells in the hearts of fallen human beings as to persuade them that they in fact are
what they so want to be, superior to all. Through our study of Bernard’s innovative
twelve steps of pride, we saw how the monk in particular succumbs to the self-deception
that he, like the Pharisee of Christ’s parable, is morally and spiritually superior to
everyone else. The monk’s descent into this delusional but obstinately held belief in his
own superior holiness begins with his curiositas, his compulsive interest in everything,
and everyone, other than himself in the sight of God. As the monk allows his sensitive
and mental regard to pass from himself to others, he gradually abandons the work of
humble self-judgment which might normally keep his love of his own excellence in
check. And, as he allows his eyes and other senses to wander over his brothers and their
behavior, his unchecked love of his own excellence distorts his vision, moving him to see
his brothers only as his competitors, as rival claimants to the distinction he coverts for
himself. Now judging himself solely in terms of his perceived inferiority or superiority
to others, he soon begins to manipulate his brothers, to impress them with seemingly holy
words and deeds, that he might win their praise and admiration. As his efforts to deceive
his brethren prove successful, he soon begins to accept their praise as the truth about
262