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MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

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in misery rather than to be subject with others to God in happiness” and “to rule over the<br />

sons of darkness rather than to share the lot of the sons of light.” 192<br />

Through his analysis of these Satan, Eve, and Dinah, then, Bernard shows how<br />

curiositas develops according to a common dynamic that ultimately entails his or her<br />

self-deception and presumptuous assertion of self-will against the will of God. Bernard<br />

concisely summarizes this common dynamic when he says of Satan, “By curiosity, he fell<br />

from the Truth, because what he first glimpsed curiously, he then wrongly desired, and<br />

presumptuously hoped to attain.” 193 How, then, does this common dynamic of curiositas<br />

play out in the heart of the monk?<br />

The abbot does not explicitly say, but the answer may be gleaned from his three<br />

exempla of curiosity and his eleven subsequent steps of pride. As the monk atop<br />

Benedict’s twelve step of humility gradually relaxes his bodily discipline, he allows his<br />

eyes and other senses to wander from his proper concern, true self-knowledge before<br />

God, to what is not his proper concern, the sensible behavior of his brothers. As he<br />

allows his sensitive and then mental regard to pass away from himself, he gradually<br />

succumbs to the spiritual disease of incuria sui or neglect of himself and his own position<br />

before God. In this way, the monk has already descended from the first step of Truth, the<br />

knowledge of the Truth in himself, because he has renounced the practice of regular,<br />

humble self-judgment that alone gives birth to genuine self-knowledge. And, as he<br />

allows that same regard to pass over to his brothers, his latent amor propriae excellentiae<br />

192 Hum 37 (III, 44): “Nam si praevidisti, quae insania fuit, ut cum tanta miseria cuperes<br />

principari, ut malles misere praeesse, quam feliciter subesse? Aut non expediebat participem esse<br />

plagarum illarum luminosarum, quam principem tenebrarum harum?”<br />

193 Hum 38 (III, 45): “per curiositatem a veritate ceciderit, quia prius spectavit curiose, quod<br />

affectavit illicite, speravit praesumptuose.”<br />

128

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