MY BELOVED IS MINE AND I AM HIS: SELF-KNOWLEDGE IN THE ...

or desire for moral and spiritual superiority arises in his heart and proposes for his
intellect’s assent the delusional belief that he is, in fact, what he so longs to be, holier
than all. Since his simultaneous self-neglect has led him to cease seeking that genuine
self-knowledge which would ordinarily expose this delusional self-understanding as
false, he swiftly embraces as true this false, but far more gratifying self-image. Having
once embraced this self-deception, the monk now asserts his self-will first against his
appointed superiors and then against God himself. Presumptuously aspiring to heights
above himself in accordance with his new, deluded self-understanding, the monk exalts
himself against God’s law, only to fall beneath himself into the simultaneously false
knowledge and himself, his brothers, and his God alike. It is this dynamic of self-
deception and self-will born of curiositas that Bernard traces in his eleven remaining
steps of pride, beginning with levitas animae or instability of mind.
Cultivating Self-Deception: From Levitas Mentis to Singularitas
In the four steps of pride which immediately follow curiositas, from instability of
mind to singularity, the monk is not, properly speaking subject to self-deception, but
rather engaged in constructing or cultivating a gratifying but ultimately false self-
understanding that he will in the sixth step of pride, arrogantia, embrace as true. In these
four steps, that is, the monk retains some lingering sense that the delusional self-image
his amor propriae excellentiae proposes for his belief, namely that his is morally and
spiritually superior to his brethren, does not quite match the reality he still perceives in
himself and others. Yet, by descending these steps, the monk in love with the thought of
his own superiority manipulates his curiosity, his words, and his deeds so as to persuade
himself and his brothers that he is who he so longs to be. Paradoxically, then, the monk
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