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Reflecting through Diary Writing
To be or not to be that is the question?
Asked by greater minds than me
Still, a sense of what I am and why
Of what I also want to be
Dasein, of this time and shaping time too
Of multiple me‘s that conflict and grow
Which one‘s do I dismiss, discount, distrust?
Which ones do I willingly want to show?
I write this diary with no idea of shape or form
Poems arrive effortlessly on the page
Time and context often forgotten somehow
Twixt metaphors of sadness and rage
To do or not to do that is the question?
When life is so full why do I need you?
Too tired to think I often write
Yet re-visioning the prism, find gems a new
Do I pretend to you my friend?
Perhaps there is a flinching eye towards the day
When all these secrets held so tightly
Will break free of the page to have their say
Clare Hopkinson 19/5/04
Maria, a co-inquirer, anticipated my findings from the ward, when she said:
I would say I write very little and that purely is time. I know
we talk about time, and we are busy, but actually I have no time,
really. I mean we are doing our courses, we work full-time, work
extra shifts, got two children, you know, I have no time. Well, we‟re
both the same, [her job share partner]. We haven‟t the time to
spend to sit down writing. It is non-existent. Actually, we do almost
90% of our reflection talking to each other. (2 nd Co-inquiry meeting
3/3/05)
I questioned nurses on the ward to see if they kept a reflective diary and
no-one did although Elizabeth, a newly qualified staff nurse who had
previously completed a counselling course, had for a while. She stopped
when she found ―it took up too much time‖ and she wasn‘t sure what
benefit she gained from it. One day there were four of us in the office
taking a break when Polly, a healthcare assistant said she had never
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