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in confidence. By challenging his behaviour clearly and directly she might
have let go of the tiredness, some of the powerful emotions and the impact
of this abuse.
So far, many of the stories in this thesis have been multilayered. Several
have focused on my own and nurses‘ frustrations, resentments and anger
at systemic problems (the macro level) others focus on dysfunctional
relationships (the micro level) and the personal cost for the nurse. Jenny‘s
story shows all three processes and typifies how some nursing
experiences can leave their mark. Consequently, there is the likelihood of
a build up of angry feelings and a sense of powerlessness at both the
system represented by the staff in charge of the ward and herself for her
own inactions. I suggest left unresolved strong emotions such as anger,
frustration and resentment are carried in the system and the nurse‘s body
leading to tiredness, cynicism, a lack of trust and disengagement. The
wider field of practice shown in this story denies the emotional impact on
Jenny, the Staff Nurse and the patient. My argument is that in noticing our
emotions and their bodily impact during care-giving we can channel that
information into being reflexive leading to changed action.
I now move on to explore our co-inquiry relating to anger and reflection
which was our fifth action cycle connecting our shared stories (9/6/05) and
was represented by the image overleaf. For a month we noticed when we
became angry and what happened as a consequence. I also analysed my
diaries looking for entries that focused on feeling angry at work. As
Jenny‘s story showed, I found plenty of anger present in the ward that was
not openly acknowledged. It seemed to reduce the possibilities for learning
and reflecting; instead it promoted whinging and sometimes an emotional
orgy. As Powell (1989 p.829) found in her observational study of reflection-
in-action, practising nurses failed to extrapolate learning opportunities in
the ward. Twenty years later, with more educated nurses than ever before,
why was this still the case?
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