PDF (PhD Thesis) - UWE Research Repository - University of the ...

esponses‘ and ‗what is yours‘ requires reflecting upon and usually
naming.
By embodying reflexivity we are able to recognise our vulnerability and use
this as a strength when working with patients and colleagues. By this I do
not mean emotional vulnerability- baring our soul – rather it is about being
kind to oneself and others; treating others well, sharing, listening,
empathizing and inquiring together in a collaborative way. In other words it
means being intentionally open to critically reflecting on our own limitations
and acknowledging the potential for 1 st (personal), 2 nd (relational) and 3 rd
(organisational) collaborative inquiry and learning. This has the capacity to
shift the system at a micro and macro level.
In this chapter I used poems as a way of naming some difficult nursing
experiences and as a process for questioning and inquiring into the politics
and doxa of practice. Earlier in the thesis I showed they sometimes re-
connected nurses to the emotions generated by nursing which are more
usually denied or suppressed in the field.
I have argued it is important to notice the power of what we are feeling and
risk exposing ourselves as vulnerable people through sharing this with
others. Timing and respect for others becomes important in this process.
We won‘t always communicate well but the intention behind the
communication is important. If we let the anger, uncertainty, anxiety,
sadness and fear fester we will play it out in the field unconsciously as
games. The weaker team member may be picked upon, the awkward
patient could be ignored or shouted at, the difficult angry relative may be
banned from visiting, and we will ignore our own needs and play this out
through conflict with others, to name but a few examples. Compassion can
replace efficient detachment which can in turn seem uncaring to others
who feel vulnerable as a consequence of requiring care. I have argued
embodying reflexivity can be an antidote to the busy syndrome, watch your
back, whinging and emotional orgy aspects of the habitus and field.
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