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Whilst in practice I found I wanted to connect with those I worked with on
some personal level, so that I knew something about them as a person as
well as a colleague. This process involved informal chit chat. Was I
gossiping if I was talking about myself? I also noticed I would chat about
myself with patients as well as colleagues and sometimes shared my own
experiences as a way of building that connection. Not all nurses on the
ward did this; some seemed uncomfortable talking about themselves. After
all there wasn‘t much time and these kinds of conversations were usually
done on the run. Later, I was to realise this informal chat or gossiping was
important for relationship building.
Dysfunctional nurse-nurse relationships was a theme occurring in all the
strands of the inquiry and seemed to have a bearing on the atmosphere in
the ward relating to whether nurses felt willing to reflect with each other.
Talking behind each others backs rather than directly face to face was
prevalent. I suggest this is an aspect of the habitus and field of the ward as
exemplified by Susan‘s 43 story and which is typical of some students‘
experiences shared in university work-based study days. The story shows
talking behind your back leads to invisible learning or embodied
dispositions which reduce nurses‘ sense of agency and confidence,
contributing to an unwillingness to share mistakes and reflect-in-action in
the ward.
In May 06 I was teaching ‗assertion skills‘ with final year student nurses at
the university using the principles of socio-drama (Moreno 1971), that is,
using students‘ actual experiences. I set the scene by talking about how
we need to think assertively before we can act assertively and how we
often have erroneous fears about others reactions or unacknowledged
fears about how others will perceive us if we respond assertively. Susan
told her story; it was her second shift and she was working with a health
care assistant, Paul. Paul told her that he needed to go to the endoscopy
suite to pick up a set of patient‘s notes that had been left there by mistake.
43 Susan gave verbal permission for its use in this thesis.
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