How to Write a Radio Serial Drama for Social Development- PDF

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184 Chapter Thirteen: The Value of Editing Topics in This Chapter ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ The need for careful editing Editing to strengthen opening narration Editing to heighten scene momentum Editing to clarify scene emotion Editing to show rather than tell the message Editing exercise The Need for Careful Editing The greatest writers in the world always edit or revise their work several times before presenting it to the public. The Enter-Educate writer needs to edit carefully on two levels: message content and story structure. Message content can be checked against the requirements of the design document. To check the dramatic effect of the story, many writers like to work with a script editor who can help with suggestions for strengthening plot and development. The following examples show how careful editing can improve important aspects of the script. Two versions of each script excerpt are presented: the original appears in the left-hand column, and an edited—and strengthened—version is in the right-hand column. Editing to Strengthen Opening Narration The opening narration of each episode poses a special challenge for the writer, who must help new listeners catch up with a serial’s story and immediately involve them in the drama. The following narrative from the Indonesian radio drama, Butir Butir Pasir di Laut (Grains of Sand in the Sea), briefly introduces two main characters and sets the scene to come.
Chapter Thirteen: The Value of Editing 185 Original Version Edited Version 1. MUSIC. OPENING THEME 2. NARR: His name is Basuki. In his 40 years of life he has remained single. As to his economic condition, it is considered more than satisfactory, because he holds a good position in the company for which he works. He owns his own house, even though it was given to him by his parents. God knows why Basuki continues to live in the same house with his housemaid and nanny, Mrs. Wiro, as he has done since he was a little boy. Mrs. Wiro knows very well what he wants. She may be very old, but she is agile enough that she can still perform her duties as a house-maid. She has only one drawback—she is forgetful. Her forgetfulness gets Basuki confused and makes him very angry. So, what’s happening in the life of this Basuki Let’s follow Basuki’s conversation with Mrs. Wiro on this particular morning. 1. MUSIC. OPENING THEME 2. NARR: There’s trouble in the Basuki house today. There always is trouble in the Basuki household, because 40-yearold Basuki is a spoiled and pampered well-to-do bachelor who still lives with Mrs. Wiro, the nannyhousemaid he has had since his baby days. Basuki has no patience with old Mrs. Wiro’s forgetfulness, especially first thing in the morning when she brings him his breakfast and he’s in his usual foul mood. The edited version grabs the attention of new listeners and draws them into the story more quickly by shortening the recap, eliminating unnecessary information, and hinting at the conflict to come. The word “trouble” was added to the first line to suggest action at the outset of the speech. The vital information about Basuki’s life and personality is revealed quickly and is connected to the forthcoming action of the drama. The audience is told very quickly everything they need to know even if they have heard no previous episodes: • There are two people in the scene, Basuki and Mrs Wiro; • The relationship of the two characters to each other; • The time and place of the scene; • The possible trouble that is about to ensue; and • How the personalities of both characters contribute to the coming trouble. What the audience is not told, but is eager to find out, is exactly what trouble is going to follow when Mrs. Wiro takes breakfast to Basuki. 13
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How To Write a Radio Serial Drama f
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Using This Book This book is a prac
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vi Contents Chapter Two 13 Writing
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viii Contents Chapter Seven 99 Writ
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x Contents Chapter Thirteen 181 The
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xii Prologue 1. Individual-level co
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xiv Prologue Source factors are the
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Chapter One Introduction to the Use
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Chapter Two Writing Begins: The Wri
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