How to Write a Radio Serial Drama for Social Development- PDF

Chapter Thirteen: The Value of Editing 193
The Other Side (original) Page 2 of 3
Episode #1 Draft: #2
Writer: Nelson Date: October 1996
Scene 2:
32. FX. GENERAL MURMUR OF PEOPLE IN A MEETING.
33. PREACHER: (OFF, IN BACKGROUND) And while we’re making our contributions—either here or at the
Health Center, let us think about what we can do to protect ourselves and our village from this
same disaster. And there are two things in particular that we can do: The first is, we must stop
cutting down the trees in our area. Without trees, we will lose the soil. And the second thing is,
we should really start to think about the size of our families. Sister Maya can help you if you
want to know more about how to space your children, or how to limit the size of your family.
Because, we must face the fact that if we do not do something to help ourselves, we too, could
suffer the same fate as the people on the other side of the mountain.
The following, edited version of the script demonstrates how the script was
improved to show, subtly, the impact of population size on the environment
rather than simply tell the audience about the link between the environment
and family planning. Several changes were made:
• The dialogue is considerably less didactic. The speeches are shorter and
crisper.
• Listeners are given “hints” about the personalities of various characters—
such as Percy—but they are left with some sense of suspense as to how
the characters will develop and the reasons for their behavior.
• The message is introduced subtly and in a way that allows audience
members to begin to think for themselves about the possible causes of
the villagers’ problems.
• As the story unfolds, the listeners begin to build in their own minds a
full picture of the inhabitants, their relationships to one another, and the
problems they face. In this way, the characters in the drama become real
people to the audience, rather than mouthpieces for a didactic message.
The edited script for the entire episode is given below to illustrate how
the message gradually unfolds over the course of several scenes and how the
various plots show different aspects of the message in a natural manner.
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