We All are Europe - AESAEC

Module 5 – The Art of Successful Project Proposal Writing II: Linguistic Part
non-verbal
(mimicking, gestures,
silence)
verbal
(all forms that are
expressed with the help
of words)
Communication
paraverbal
(flow of words, speed of
speech, length of
pauses)
extraverbal
(clothing, smell,
external characteristics)
A person can express himself / herself non-verbally as well as verbally. Verbal signals must first be
learnt in order to understand them and to be able to use them. This takes place in the first years of
life. Our environment determines not only the accent and tone of our speech, but also the content
which we connect with individual words. Thus when a mother in Sweden asks her child to think of a
large animal the child would very likely think of a reindeer whereas a child in Africa might have an
elephant in mind.
However, our messages are not only be transported by different means, they can also include different
information, background knowledge etc.
Some linguists say that each message consists of up to four different aspects, which are:
• the direct message, in which I pass on information
• the self-disclosure message gives information about what is happening with me and what I
want to be made known about me
• the appeal states what I want of the other person
• the indirect message, with which the sender conveys the relationship to the receiver
For example, a person says to another person: “Can you lend me 20 Euros please”
The direct message reads: I would like to borrow 20 Euros.
The self-disclosure message says: I urgently need 20 Euros and I do not have them myself.
The indirect message conveys: We have a close relationship and I would not borrow money from
just any person.
The appeal means: I would very much appreciate to be lent 20 Euros.
Of course, it not always easy to differentiate between these four messages. However, usually the
sender gives a message with these four aspects, which the receiver picks up. It can happen that the
receiver does not pick up all four aspects of the message at the same level of intensity as that intended
by the sender. It can also occur that the receiver does not understand or wrongly interprets
one, more or even all aspects of the message – this is also called a misunderstanding!
Persons, due to their life experience, apply their own ideas in a communication situation. Remember
the short story above: Although the good friends both speak about a holiday they have a totally
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