Testimonies for the Church Volume 1 - A New You Ministry

that this was sinful on my part, considering the gracious manner in which the Lord hadmanifested Himself to me.I feared that God had taken His favor from me forever. As I thought of the light thathad formerly blessed my soul, it seemed doubly precious in contrast with the darknessthat now enveloped me. Meetings were held at my father’s house, but my distress ofmind was so great that I did not attend them for some time. My burden grew heavieruntil the agony of my spirit seemed more than I could bear.At length I was induced to be present at one of the meetings in my own home. Thechurch made my case a special subject of prayer. Father Pearson, who in my earlierexperience had opposed the manifestations of the power of God upon me, now prayedearnestly for me, and counseled me to surrender my will to the will of the Lord. Likea tender father he tried to encourage and comfort me, bidding me believe I was notforsaken by the Friend of sinners.I felt too weak and despondent to make any special effort for myself, but my heartunited with the petitions of my friends. I cared little now for the opposition of theworld, and felt willing to make every sacrifice if only the favor of God might be restoredto me. While prayer was offered for me, the thick darkness that had encompassed merolled back, and a sudden light came upon me. My strength was taken away. I seemedto be in the presence of the angels. One of these holy beings again repeated the words:“Make known to others what I have revealed to you.”One great fear that oppressed me was that if I obeyed the call of duty, and went outdeclaring myself to be one favored of the Most High with visions and revelations forthe people, I might yield to sinful exaltation and be lifted above the station that wasright for me to occupy, bring upon myself the displeasure of God, and lose my ownsoul. I had before me several cases such as I have here described, and my heart shrankfrom the trying ordeal.64