Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

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Foreword Whilst steering the Simple-Talk.com website, I was on the look out for an experienced IT professional who could add tone and dignity to the site by making weighty pronouncements about industry trends, and provide thoughtful comments on events of interest to those working with SQL and .NET. Instead I found Phil Factor. While his articles deviated alarmingly from the brief, shot through as they were with a wild seam of anarchic humour, it was really no surprise to me that they went down well with our readers. In all of his work the humour is a sugar coating for a pill of sage advice, wrought from years of rough-and-tumble in the IT industry. It is an honour and a pleasure to present to you his Full Confessions of an IT Manager – a selection of some of his finest writings for the Simple-Talk site from 2006 to 2009. If you like what you read here, please do visit the website (http://www.simple-talk.com) where, alongside the pepper-in-the-mill that is Phil, you'll find all manner of technical tutorials, opinion, workbenches, and scripts for SQL Server, .NET and Exchange people. Of course, the book is best enjoyed whilst relaxing over a pint or two of real ale. Enjoy! Tony Davis Editor, Red-Gate Software Cambridge Cambridge 2009
10 Training Your IT Manager The DBA's Demise - a recitation Verses written after suffering a deadlock error, whilst listening to 'The Streets of Loredo' on the Internet Radio. On a doorway in Dover I once stumbled over a programmer wrapped in a sheet. This poor prostrate nerd didn't utter a word as he lay there half-blocking the street.
Page 1 and 2: Best of Simple Talk Confessions of
Page 3 and 4: ii Copyright Phil Factor 2009 ISBN
Page 5 and 6: iv Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survi
Page 8: Introduction During my career as an
Page 13 and 14: 12 Training Your IT Manager Section
Page 15 and 16: 14 Training Your IT Manager via cur
Page 17 and 18: 16 Training Your IT Manager it. Per
Page 19 and 20: 18 Training Your IT Manager Of cour
Page 21 and 22: 20 The Septic Tank Miscellaneous el
Page 24 and 25: The Yancey Men First published 03 O
Page 26 and 27: Section I: On Learning to Love your
Page 30 and 31: Bunnikins! First published 24 Augus
Page 34: Section I: On Learning to Love your
Page 37 and 38: 36 Betting on Promotion At one stag
Page 39 and 40: 38 Betting on Promotion could at le
Page 41 and 42: 40 How to Prevent Initiatives that
Page 43 and 44: 42 How to Prevent Initiatives Guys,
Page 46 and 47: Irregular verbs for IT managers Fir
Page 48 and 49: Phrases with which to discourage id
Page 53 and 54: 52 Initiating a project with a Stra
Page 56 and 57: Looking Busy First published 23 Nov
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60 Doing things - The Manual Do som
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62 The Incident of 'The Two Johns'
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Section II: The Strange Business of
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66 Going It Alone I had it working,
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The Walrus and the Manager First Pu
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Click-A-Crematorium First published
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80 A Chilling Prophecy Some time ag
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82 Talking Technical explaining tha
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The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing
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Microsoft Boy announces his School
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92 The March of Technology "Just be
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94 The March of Technology got the
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Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survivor
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Section III: Software Projects: the
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110 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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112 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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114 The Technically Minded Subclass
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The Data Dialog First Published 30
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The Joy of NAD First Published 30 O
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Smoke and Mirrors First Published 1
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132 The Acronym Playpen Basic. I ch
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The Writing on the Wall First publi
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The Ghost in the Machine First publ
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146 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
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148 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
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150 The Escape from Developer Hell
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152 The Escape from Developer Hell
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154 The Time Bomb The bolt from the
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156 The Time Bomb I made sure that
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158 The Time Bomb For us, it was so
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160 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
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162 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
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164 When the Fever is Over, and one
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The Computer that Swore First Publi
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Section IV: Hiring, Firing and othe
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IT Agencies and the Devil First pub
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The Stepford Geeks First published
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192 The Terror of Technical Tests t
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194 The Interview with the Psychome
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196 Brown Shoes Don't Make It in th
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Technical Interviews and Tests Have
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204 Two stops short of Dagenham Eve
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The March of Time First published 2
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Fired With Enthusiasm First Publish
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The Whipping Boy First published 21
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220 Hens that Crow He seemed compel
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222 Hens that Crow street. I spent
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224 The New Man subject he knew abs
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226 The New Man told me the Directo
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Section V: What If …? 229 Had IT
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Section V: What If …? 231 energy
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Had offshoring been responsible for
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Section V: What If …? 235 Beaumon
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Section V: What If …? 237 Jonson:
Page 241 and 242:
240 Had Tennyson been a Technical A
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242 Had God been a Technical Author
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244 Had the Sistine Chapel been Cre
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250 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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252 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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Section VI: Hiccoughs in the Workin
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Page 261 and 262:
260 The Pub Lunch and Programming i
Page 263 and 264:
262 At half-past three, it's time f
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264 At half-past three, it's time f
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266 Cha: Tea-drinking for IT Develo
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Survival Tips for PowerPoint Boredo
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276 The Joy of IT Meetings period.
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Why do we call them 'Bugs'? First p
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The Ballad of the Tuple Relation Fi
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Common Law, and the Need for Restra
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288 Phil Factor on the Law my appli
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290 Phil Factor on the Law Meanwhil
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292 Santa's SLA revenue days for th
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Tomorrow will be our Dancing Day Ph
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302 The Data Center that Exploded:
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304 The Data Center that Exploded:
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About Red Gate You know those annoy
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