Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

128 Smoke and Mirrors
"No, actually it isn't a real customer; I'm just showing how the system will
work."
He blinked in surprise.
"… so now I answer the call, and look, we've already recognised the CLI of
the caller and got all his banking details and we've even taken a guess at what
he's likely to want, based on his previous phone calls."
The screen showed an impressive form filled with lists, grids, images, and
directories. Oh God, how I love designing these demonstration systems.
They goggled in wonder. "I knew it really was a customer!"
I ignored him.
"… and now we find out what the customer wants. If we're stuck for words,
a prompts appears on screen …" They stared, as if hypnotised. They read the
prompt, their lips moving slowly. They were hooked.
I blossom in front of an appreciative audience. I went through the carefully
scripted presentation. The 'Smoke and Mirrors' demonstration had enough
functionality to take one through a couple of typical scenarios. As I navigated
through the banking procedures, the directors occasionally whistled in
appreciation. I warmed to the task, like Widow Twankie before a lively matinee
audience.
At the end, I paused for questions. The minders looked glum, since they felt
that their charges had somehow slipped the leash. The directors twittered
amongst themselves like excited schoolchildren on an outing. "Young man,"
said one of them importantly. "I'll be frank; we like what you've done. No one
can accuse us of being indecisive. We'll take it as it is. No point in shillyshallying
around. I'm a plain man and speak as I find."
"Excuse me," I said, suddenly panicked "It isn't a completed system, just a
demonstration of what the system will look like!"
"Aye, you'll need to take them bugbears out lad." Said one proudly, airing
his IT knowledge; all his IT knowledge.
"We'll also have to write it. What you saw was just a simulation of the
planned application. There are months of work ahead."
They smiled like children being shown a card-trick. "That's as maybe" one
said, winking, "and you'll no doubt be charging for consultancy too!" He
nodded knowingly at his fellow directors.
These guys could have done the voice-overs for a Wallace and Grommit
film.