Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

272 Survival Tips for PowerPoint Boredom
control system, calculus of consequence, functionality matrix, conceptual
baseline …
The Jesus game thus evolved into a more complex sport of picking out
waffle phrases. At first we tried an alphabetical system, but eventually decided
that in addition to quantity, phrases would be judged on quality as well. To
'own' a phrase, you had to ask a question that included the phrase that the
salesman had just used.
Using one of the examples above, a participant might ask: "Would you
consider that the separate roles and significances of the formal strategic
direction had a particular value in the context of your product?" This signaled
the others that the phrase was 'yours'.
The rating process involved writing down the phrases and getting
participants to rate them on their absurdity. As time went on, we collected the
best and seemingly most powerful phrases until we had a phrase bank that
could be used to generate automated PowerPoint presentations. This was the
famous 'waffle generator,' which spread like a virus through the industry.
Use your assets
The waffle game electrified the presentations. The salesmen would be
surprised to see a row of keen faces in the audience, eyes bright like buttons,
lapping up every word and asking intelligent questions. Unfortunately, the very
nature of the game made it go sour, because our apparent interest only
stimulated the salesmen to talk more.
The great virtue of the Jesus game was that, after the J word had been
spoken, the audience lost interest in the presentation. Sensing that something
had gone wrong, the salesman truncated his presentation and shut up. The
waffle game had to be modified so that only the first ten minutes of the
presentation were allowed.
I have come across other games too. The 'situation' game offers considerable
scope. The audience divides into two teams that take alternate presentations and
try to induce the speaker to say the word 'situation' the most number of times.
There are few rules, and the ingenuity of the cheating can be fascinating.
My best team ever included a young graduate trainee named Louise who
was quite well endowed. We worked out a technique in which Louise would
lean forward slightly in her chair every time the salesman said 'situation'. Like
one of Pavlov's dogs, the salesman would unconsciously increase his use of
'situation', until his speech was peppered with the word.