Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

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Irregular verbs for IT managers First published 08 March 2006 Phil's essential guide to interpreting IT Managerspeak. The way you describe events, decisions and actions in IT development depends on who you are. The following chart should give the general idea on the way things can be spun. I feel sure I have left a lot out, so I'd be most interested to hear of omissions. I understand the broad implications of the technology. You are trying to keep up with the technology. He is playing with the technology. My development project succeeded in broad principle. Your project was not totally satisfactory. His development project was a complete disaster.
46 Irregular verbs for IT managers I am rightly indignant. I conform to existing technical standards. You are annoyed. You are hidebound in your thinking. He is making a fuss about nothing. He is in the technological dark-ages. I understand the broad business vision. You are not technologyfocused. He does not understand what is technically possible. I write business papers. You are required to read business papers. He puts business papers in his budgie's cage. I have convictions about the most suitable technical platform. You are prejudiced about the technology you use. He is totally biased towards/against Microsoft Software. I am fastidious in my work practices. You do your job in a fussy way. He is an old woman. I am firm. You are obstinate. He is pig-headed. My project has met the revised timescales. Your project is later than the client was originally told. His project has overrun its schedule. I respond to changes in the industry. You have changed you mind. He is always vacillating .
Page 1 and 2: Best of Simple Talk Confessions of
Page 3 and 4: ii Copyright Phil Factor 2009 ISBN
Page 5 and 6: iv Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survi
Page 8: Introduction During my career as an
Page 11 and 12: 10 Training Your IT Manager The DBA
Page 13 and 14: 12 Training Your IT Manager Section
Page 15 and 16: 14 Training Your IT Manager via cur
Page 17 and 18: 16 Training Your IT Manager it. Per
Page 19 and 20: 18 Training Your IT Manager Of cour
Page 21 and 22: 20 The Septic Tank Miscellaneous el
Page 24 and 25: The Yancey Men First published 03 O
Page 26 and 27: Section I: On Learning to Love your
Page 30 and 31: Bunnikins! First published 24 Augus
Page 34: Section I: On Learning to Love your
Page 37 and 38: 36 Betting on Promotion At one stag
Page 39 and 40: 38 Betting on Promotion could at le
Page 41 and 42: 40 How to Prevent Initiatives that
Page 43 and 44: 42 How to Prevent Initiatives Guys,
Page 48 and 49: Phrases with which to discourage id
Page 53 and 54: 52 Initiating a project with a Stra
Page 56 and 57: Looking Busy First published 23 Nov
Page 61 and 62: 60 Doing things - The Manual Do som
Page 63 and 64: 62 The Incident of 'The Two Johns'
Page 65 and 66: Section II: The Strange Business of
Page 67 and 68: 66 Going It Alone I had it working,
Page 70 and 71: The Walrus and the Manager First Pu
Page 76 and 77: Click-A-Crematorium First published
Page 78: Section II: The Strange Business of
Page 81 and 82: 80 A Chilling Prophecy Some time ag
Page 83 and 84: 82 Talking Technical explaining tha
Page 86 and 87: The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing
Page 88 and 89: Microsoft Boy announces his School
Page 90: Section II: The Strange Business of
Page 93 and 94: 92 The March of Technology "Just be
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94 The March of Technology got the
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Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survivor
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Section II: The Strange Business of
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Section III: Software Projects: the
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110 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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112 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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114 The Technically Minded Subclass
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The Data Dialog First Published 30
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The Joy of NAD First Published 30 O
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Smoke and Mirrors First Published 1
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132 The Acronym Playpen Basic. I ch
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The Writing on the Wall First publi
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The Ghost in the Machine First publ
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146 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
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148 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
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150 The Escape from Developer Hell
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152 The Escape from Developer Hell
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154 The Time Bomb The bolt from the
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156 The Time Bomb I made sure that
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158 The Time Bomb For us, it was so
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160 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
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162 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
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164 When the Fever is Over, and one
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The Computer that Swore First Publi
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Section IV: Hiring, Firing and othe
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IT Agencies and the Devil First pub
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The Stepford Geeks First published
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192 The Terror of Technical Tests t
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194 The Interview with the Psychome
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196 Brown Shoes Don't Make It in th
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Technical Interviews and Tests Have
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204 Two stops short of Dagenham Eve
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The March of Time First published 2
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Fired With Enthusiasm First Publish
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The Whipping Boy First published 21
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220 Hens that Crow He seemed compel
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222 Hens that Crow street. I spent
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224 The New Man subject he knew abs
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226 The New Man told me the Directo
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Section V: What If …? 229 Had IT
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Section V: What If …? 231 energy
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Had offshoring been responsible for
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Section V: What If …? 235 Beaumon
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Section V: What If …? 237 Jonson:
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240 Had Tennyson been a Technical A
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242 Had God been a Technical Author
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244 Had the Sistine Chapel been Cre
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250 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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252 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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Section VI: Hiccoughs in the Workin
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260 The Pub Lunch and Programming i
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262 At half-past three, it's time f
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264 At half-past three, it's time f
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266 Cha: Tea-drinking for IT Develo
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Survival Tips for PowerPoint Boredo
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276 The Joy of IT Meetings period.
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Why do we call them 'Bugs'? First p
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The Ballad of the Tuple Relation Fi
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Common Law, and the Need for Restra
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288 Phil Factor on the Law my appli
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290 Phil Factor on the Law Meanwhil
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292 Santa's SLA revenue days for th
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Tomorrow will be our Dancing Day Ph
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302 The Data Center that Exploded:
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304 The Data Center that Exploded:
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About Red Gate You know those annoy
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