Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

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The Interview with the Psychometric Test First published 25 July 2007 He knew there would be trouble the moment she walked in the room. Like many IT people, Phil has an instinctive aversion to HR people and little but disdain for the 'psychometric test'. The HR person looked briskly at me and waddled importantly to the desk. I'd come for an interview with a firm in Cambridge running an IT consultancy, from an office quite near where Red Gate now is based. They said in the advert that they wanted a 'Database expert with Oracle, Sybase and SQL Server experience'. I'd mistakenly thought I'd talk about consultancy, and IT issues, eye-to-eye with a like-minded technologist. Instead, I faced this creature. After some anodyne pleasantries, she came to the point "Right. First, I'd like you to complete this test. You will have three-quarters of an hour." She banged the form in front of me. I glanced at it. "This is an NFER test for schools, designed to assess the academic skills of fourteen year olds." I said. She tut-tutted. "This is a standard test that we give to all candidates for jobs here. We are familiar with the results and so it is invaluable in our candidateselection process." "Impossible. This is a test standardised on a school population, and designed to be administered in a certain way by a trained teacher. It is used to try to predict academic progress of pupils up to the age of 16, and it was never much good at that. It will tell you absolutely nothing about how effective someone will be in the workplace." There was a strained silence while she administered her best 'we've got a right smartarse here' look. I took advantage of the lull. "Another problem is that I know all the answers, since I've had to administer and mark the wretched thing in the past, when I was a teacher. You have
194 The Interview with the Psychometric Test additional problems in the ethics of giving someone a psychometric test without prior notice or proper consent. It is actually not permitted in the NHS." There was a pause as she tried to come to grips with this. "I don't agree," she said, finally, "All our candidates are happy to take the test and we find the results very useful." I gave up. "OK," I said. "I'll take the test." She looked intensely relieved, set her stopwatch and left the room. I fell into a reverie. When I worked so hard to get my Masters, I thought to myself that it would be a generally recognised badge of educational achievement. How times change. Why did I bother? Why didn't I just backpack around the world for a couple of years, and then create a completely bogus CV claiming experience in all the hot technologies. I'd seen it work many times. I wondered if I could show her how silly this was. I looked down at the once-familiar test. I never thought I'd see it ever again. Within fifteen minutes, I'd filled it all in, with perfect answers since I'd done so many markings of the wretched test. I was gazing out of the window, and meditating on the comedy of human frailty when she minced in after three-quarters of an hour to pick up the completed test. I was then taken to another room where a manager started to interview me. As the interview progressed, I became increasingly disillusioned and disappointed. He gave the impression that the entire business was run by the rule book, and that the consultants were mere cannon fodder in a large consultant army. This was no place of contentment for a free-thinking technologist. The HR lady brought the test results into the room, glancing at me with a new-found respect. The manager did a double-take, immediately followed by a complete u-turn from his previous arrogant demeanour. I had, of course, achieved a perfect score. One doesn't forget the correct answers after all that marking. For the remainder of the interview he became repulsively ingratiating, until the moment came … "… and why, in particular, would you like to join our company?" Wide smile. This is it. "Because of my experiences this morning, I'm afraid that I don't." I rose to leave, shook him by the hand and was soon, flooded with relief, in the fresh air once more. "Did you have a good interview?" asked my wife brightly, as I returned home.
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Best of Simple Talk Confessions of
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ii Copyright Phil Factor 2009 ISBN
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iv Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survi
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Introduction During my career as an
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10 Training Your IT Manager The DBA
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12 Training Your IT Manager Section
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14 Training Your IT Manager via cur
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16 Training Your IT Manager it. Per
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18 Training Your IT Manager Of cour
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20 The Septic Tank Miscellaneous el
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The Yancey Men First published 03 O
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Section I: On Learning to Love your
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Bunnikins! First published 24 Augus
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36 Betting on Promotion At one stag
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38 Betting on Promotion could at le
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40 How to Prevent Initiatives that
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42 How to Prevent Initiatives Guys,
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Irregular verbs for IT managers Fir
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Phrases with which to discourage id
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52 Initiating a project with a Stra
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Looking Busy First published 23 Nov
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60 Doing things - The Manual Do som
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62 The Incident of 'The Two Johns'
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Section II: The Strange Business of
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66 Going It Alone I had it working,
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The Walrus and the Manager First Pu
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Click-A-Crematorium First published
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80 A Chilling Prophecy Some time ag
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82 Talking Technical explaining tha
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The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing
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Microsoft Boy announces his School
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92 The March of Technology "Just be
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94 The March of Technology got the
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Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survivor
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Section III: Software Projects: the
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110 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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112 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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114 The Technically Minded Subclass
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The Data Dialog First Published 30
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The Joy of NAD First Published 30 O
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Smoke and Mirrors First Published 1
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132 The Acronym Playpen Basic. I ch
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The Writing on the Wall First publi
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The Ghost in the Machine First publ
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Page 144: Section III: Software Projects: the
Page 147 and 148: 146 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
Page 149 and 150: 148 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
Page 151 and 152: 150 The Escape from Developer Hell
Page 153 and 154: 152 The Escape from Developer Hell
Page 155 and 156: 154 The Time Bomb The bolt from the
Page 157 and 158: 156 The Time Bomb I made sure that
Page 159 and 160: 158 The Time Bomb For us, it was so
Page 161 and 162: 160 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
Page 163 and 164: 162 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
Page 165 and 166: 164 When the Fever is Over, and one
Page 168 and 169: The Computer that Swore First Publi
Page 170 and 171: Section III: Software Projects: the
Page 176 and 177: Section IV: Hiring, Firing and othe
Page 182 and 183: IT Agencies and the Devil First pub
Page 188 and 189: The Stepford Geeks First published
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Page 193: 192 The Terror of Technical Tests t
Page 197 and 198: 196 Brown Shoes Don't Make It in th
Page 200 and 201: Technical Interviews and Tests Have
Page 205 and 206: 204 Two stops short of Dagenham Eve
Page 208 and 209: The March of Time First published 2
Page 210 and 211: Fired With Enthusiasm First Publish
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Page 221 and 222: 220 Hens that Crow He seemed compel
Page 223 and 224: 222 Hens that Crow street. I spent
Page 225 and 226: 224 The New Man subject he knew abs
Page 227: 226 The New Man told me the Directo
Page 230 and 231: Section V: What If …? 229 Had IT
Page 232 and 233: Section V: What If …? 231 energy
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Page 236 and 237: Section V: What If …? 235 Beaumon
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Page 241 and 242: 240 Had Tennyson been a Technical A
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244 Had the Sistine Chapel been Cre
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250 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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252 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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Section VI: Hiccoughs in the Workin
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260 The Pub Lunch and Programming i
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262 At half-past three, it's time f
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264 At half-past three, it's time f
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266 Cha: Tea-drinking for IT Develo
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Survival Tips for PowerPoint Boredo
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276 The Joy of IT Meetings period.
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Why do we call them 'Bugs'? First p
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The Ballad of the Tuple Relation Fi
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Common Law, and the Need for Restra
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288 Phil Factor on the Law my appli
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290 Phil Factor on the Law Meanwhil
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292 Santa's SLA revenue days for th
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Tomorrow will be our Dancing Day Ph
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302 The Data Center that Exploded:
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304 The Data Center that Exploded:
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About Red Gate You know those annoy
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