Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor
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40 How to Prevent Initiatives<br />
that it is the apathy <strong>of</strong> one's staff that caused the initiative to fail, rather th<strong>an</strong><br />
one's own inadequacy as a m<strong>an</strong>ager.<br />
One <strong>of</strong> the following methods will effectively restore the Status Quo.<br />
The 'Thicko' method<br />
Adopt a bluff, avuncular attitude. When the initiator comes up with a<br />
technical proposal, pretend not to underst<strong>an</strong>d it, <strong>an</strong>d get him to explain it<br />
repeatedly, <strong>an</strong>d unsuccessfully. This is <strong>an</strong> even more amusing technique if you<br />
c<strong>an</strong> form a double-act with a confederate. The initiator will eventually lose<br />
patience <strong>an</strong>d storm <strong>of</strong>f. Much job satisfaction c<strong>an</strong> be gained from the parting<br />
sally "Perhaps you will find it easier to explain it once you've really understood<br />
the technicalities yourself."<br />
The 'T<strong>an</strong>trum' method<br />
Pretend to be highly stressed with far more pressing issues. When the<br />
initiator <strong>of</strong>fers a proposal, feign incredulity <strong>an</strong>d then throw a t<strong>an</strong>trum. This is<br />
crude, perhaps, but effective, especially if you have developed a hightestosterone<br />
m<strong>an</strong>agement style. Follow up the t<strong>an</strong>trum by feigning indignation<br />
that they should have their head in the clouds when they should be fighting<br />
fires.<br />
The 'Death By Alternatives' approach<br />
In this method, you ask the initiator for the list <strong>of</strong> all the alternatives that he<br />
has considered <strong>an</strong>d rejected. If he has already prepared several, ask for a more<br />
detailed <strong>an</strong>alysis <strong>an</strong>d dem<strong>an</strong>d a discussion paper on the alternative technical<br />
platforms, with lots <strong>of</strong> diagrams. You c<strong>an</strong> be sure that fatigue <strong>an</strong>d apathy will<br />
set in.<br />
The 'Daddy Knows Better' approach<br />
Receive the initiative as if greeting <strong>an</strong> old friend <strong>an</strong>d say something like<br />
"Yes, we've thought <strong>of</strong> that at various times, but it simply wasn't practical/<br />
economic/ policy/ effective." If you have the paperwork, then produce it <strong>an</strong>d<br />
dem<strong>an</strong>d that the initiator ploughs through the white papers, background<br />
correspondence <strong>an</strong>d discussion documents. Otherwise, launch into a rambling<br />
personal reminiscence, involving the squeezing <strong>of</strong> vast databases onto floppy<br />
disks <strong>an</strong>d 8 megs <strong>of</strong> RAM, using punched cards.
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