Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

70 The Walrus and the Manager
The poem introduces the walrus and the carpenter walking along the beach
at night. To me, the Walrus represents the complacent corporate organisation.
The lethargy, and the layers of blubber, speak volumes. The Carpenter is
obviously a project manager.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"
"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.
Note the subtlety of the dialogue; the naïve trust of corporate reasoning that
projects that are 'slipping their dates' just need additional headcount to ensure
that they come in on time, and the wise riposte of the Carpenter. In IT, such a
practice usually leads to tears.
I learned very early on in business that it is safest to enter into commercial
relationships only with companies of a similar size to your own. This is why IT
salesmen who sell applications and services to corporates always trot out their
revenues and projected growth at the start of their PowerPoint Presentations.
An experienced manager will be nervous of buying from a small company -
'The Oyster': But not these two characters, it seems.
"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."
The corporate is, suspiciously, encouraging the 'oysters'. For a small
supplier, the idea of forming a relationship with the IT department of a large
company is beguiling. Once you are in place, with a good maintenance
contract, the future looks rosy. Many IT managers in large businesses will
encourage this idea of 'synergistic' business opportunities with smaller partners,
as they know that it will generally give them the 'upper hand' in most of their
dealings. However, the oysters should be very wary of placing their fortunes