Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

178 Bogus resumes and unblushing lies: navigating the database hiring waters
employers. I was intrigued enough to interview the man, at which time it was
immediately apparent that his resume was a complete fabrication. He wasn't old
enough to have attained his alleged qualifications, let alone his work
experience. His ignorance of the elementary principles of database theory was
startling as well.
Questions from a wily nincompoop
After countless experiences like this, I determined that the way to weed out
the poor candidates was to ask some searching technical questions. I have lost
count of the times I have suffered these myself, and I know only too well that
one's brain can be reduced to jelly when having to remember a few facts that
are so familiar that, outside of an interview setting, they are like remembering
the names of one's parents.
It's monstrous to confront someone with an examination without warning,
like some human resource departments did in the 1990s with their intelligence
and personality tests. I always warn candidates, via their agents, that they may
be asked a few relevant technical questions, but that these would not take too
long.
When conducting an interview, I generally adopt the persona of a kindly,
middle-aged nincompoop. I gaze at the candidate with the bonhomie one
imagines Santa would adopt. Other employers adopt a sullen approach, but I try
not to upset the candidate just in case he subsequently lies himself into a job
from which he might one day interview me. It has happened. The following
approach never seems to have caused resentment in a candidate.
The first part of the interview consists of a rather optimistic account of the
company and the pleasure one would derive from working for it. After this
softening-up exercise, I gaze at the candidate benignly and ask how he would
rate his SQL Server skills. If I have done the first part of the interview
correctly, he will tell me his skills are superb.
"Oh, good, so you wouldn't mind answering a few simple questions about
SQL Server?" I ask, with a kindly, paternalistic smile. "Nothing particularly
technical, you understand, but I would like to see how you would approach a
simple problem in any of the major SQL databases."
"Of course I wouldn't," the candidate inevitably replies, in anticipation of
being tickled with a feather duster.
The metaphorical baseball bat that I then use consists of a number of simple
questions that anyone who had done serious work in SQL Server would easily
tackle but which immediately seem to sort the wheat from the chaff.. In no