Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

Fired With Enthusiasm
First Published 30 April 2007
Phil has met more than his fair share of idlers in his
IT career, mainly nestling in the crooks and crannies
of large international enterprises and government
departments. He calls them 'light arms': low calibre,
small bore, need to be fired.
Kishor, the IT director, looked up from his notes. "We don't have many
people working for us here." he said, and flung the file on his desk with some
exasperation.
I had learned rapidly, in my new career as an underling, never to contradict
anyone senior to me. Instead, I mutely stared out over the vast sea of cubicles in
the huge open-plan office, and scratched my head in puzzlement.
"I suspect it depends on your definition of the word many." I suggested
placatingly.
"No it effing doesn't," he spat out "it depends on your definition of the word
work."
I had come to the IT department of a major London Bank as a refugee,
having run my own IT business for some years, and I was enjoying the
increased pay and tranquillity. It had, however, come as a complete surprise to
find myself surrounded by members of the IT staff who didn't do a stroke of
useful work all day, and became animated only when the magical hour of 5PM
approached.
I'd never come across such a thing before. In the IT world of the SMEs, we
were all caught up in the never-ending struggle to survive. We worked all the
hours we could in order to deal with impossible workloads. I had to agree with
Kishor that we had more than our fair share of idlers in the staff.
We called them the light arms (low calibre, small bore, needed to be fired).
One such character confessed to me how he was able to catch up on his sleep
while at work. His amazing talent was being able to doze off with his eyes
open, whilst staring at the screen and tapping the CAPS key.
If resting after the exertions of ones night-life wasn't to your taste, then there
were other diversions to while away the time. The Finance Director happened