Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

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Section V: What If …? 251 Relvar Polly (with ACID sarcasm) Thanks for the Complement. You scare me! Hah! That flat relation? Pshaw! (audience boos noisily) (thinks: Maybe this is a bad transaction scenario ) Surely we can be sensible? I'm here to see if we can do a deal to retrieve my tuples. I have an atomic proposition that could lead to a Transaction. My SPID can start the process with a triggered procedure. (Suddenly, an Argument starts at a nearby base table. A fight breaks out. A lunging body falls perilously near to Polly and knocks her SPID flying. Inverted Tables everywhere. The scimitar skids across the floor. Quick as a flash, Relvar's SPID leaps onto Polly's SPID and pins him to the ground.) Relvar (gloatingly) So fate has chosen your SPID to be a deadlock victim. Soon he will be a bound variable. Captain Codd bursts in on the scene. A clash of Cymbals. Codd: Not so fast, Relvar. You have committed a fatal error and made a hash of it. Polly is under my protection!! (An immediate conflict ensues. Wham! Bam! Captain Codd delivers a lightning Sheffer stroke to Relvar's jaw, Soon, Captain Codd has Relvar in a granular lock followed by a restriction, an immediate constraint, finishing with a deadly embrace.) Relvar Aiee! You have me in a Multi-Relvar constraint. I repent!! Let me go! Release my constraint! From now on I shall lead a Normal life. Captain Codd: If so, it will be your first Normal Form, Relvar. I suspect you will need a unique constraint. Any base manipulation, and you will be a bound variable in a loop structure.
252 Captain Codd and the Simple Proposition Polly Scene 3 Thanks, Captain Codd! I rely on you but it is a multi-valued dependency, though I am irreducably dependent. An Arcadian meadow. The sun is shining. Polly Morphism and Captain Codd admire Polly's flock of tuples. Polly (surrounded by her bleating tuples, nuzzling up to her adoringly) Oh Captain Codd, now my SPID is released and my tuples safe, I can enjoy a tuple union. How can I repay you? Captain Codd (looking serious) It isn't over until we can engineer some sort of total Relvar constraint, with an identity restriction. He could yet strike again. Ominous music … Will Relvar Predicate strike again? Look out for the thrilling Sequel to ... Captain Codd and the Simple Proposition. Heroic music ... Ends.
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Best of Simple Talk Confessions of
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ii Copyright Phil Factor 2009 ISBN
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iv Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survi
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Introduction During my career as an
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10 Training Your IT Manager The DBA
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12 Training Your IT Manager Section
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14 Training Your IT Manager via cur
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16 Training Your IT Manager it. Per
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18 Training Your IT Manager Of cour
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20 The Septic Tank Miscellaneous el
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The Yancey Men First published 03 O
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Section I: On Learning to Love your
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Bunnikins! First published 24 Augus
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36 Betting on Promotion At one stag
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38 Betting on Promotion could at le
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40 How to Prevent Initiatives that
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42 How to Prevent Initiatives Guys,
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Irregular verbs for IT managers Fir
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Phrases with which to discourage id
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52 Initiating a project with a Stra
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Looking Busy First published 23 Nov
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60 Doing things - The Manual Do som
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62 The Incident of 'The Two Johns'
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Section II: The Strange Business of
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66 Going It Alone I had it working,
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The Walrus and the Manager First Pu
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Click-A-Crematorium First published
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80 A Chilling Prophecy Some time ag
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82 Talking Technical explaining tha
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The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing
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Microsoft Boy announces his School
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92 The March of Technology "Just be
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94 The March of Technology got the
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Clinging to the Flotsam. A Survivor
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Section III: Software Projects: the
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110 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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112 Confessions of an IT Strategist
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114 The Technically Minded Subclass
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The Data Dialog First Published 30
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The Joy of NAD First Published 30 O
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Smoke and Mirrors First Published 1
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132 The Acronym Playpen Basic. I ch
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The Writing on the Wall First publi
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The Ghost in the Machine First publ
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146 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
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148 The Sticking Page-Down-Key Inci
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150 The Escape from Developer Hell
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152 The Escape from Developer Hell
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154 The Time Bomb The bolt from the
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156 The Time Bomb I made sure that
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158 The Time Bomb For us, it was so
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160 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
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162 On the Trail with the Cowboy Co
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164 When the Fever is Over, and one
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The Computer that Swore First Publi
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Section IV: Hiring, Firing and othe
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IT Agencies and the Devil First pub
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The Stepford Geeks First published
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192 The Terror of Technical Tests t
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194 The Interview with the Psychome
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196 Brown Shoes Don't Make It in th
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Technical Interviews and Tests Have
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Page 208 and 209: The March of Time First published 2
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Page 214 and 215: The Whipping Boy First published 21
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Page 221 and 222: 220 Hens that Crow He seemed compel
Page 223 and 224: 222 Hens that Crow street. I spent
Page 225 and 226: 224 The New Man subject he knew abs
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Page 236 and 237: Section V: What If …? 235 Beaumon
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Page 241 and 242: 240 Had Tennyson been a Technical A
Page 243 and 244: 242 Had God been a Technical Author
Page 245 and 246: 244 Had the Sistine Chapel been Cre
Page 251: 250 Captain Codd and the Simple Pro
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Page 261 and 262: 260 The Pub Lunch and Programming i
Page 263 and 264: 262 At half-past three, it's time f
Page 265 and 266: 264 At half-past three, it's time f
Page 267 and 268: 266 Cha: Tea-drinking for IT Develo
Page 270 and 271: Survival Tips for PowerPoint Boredo
Page 277 and 278: 276 The Joy of IT Meetings period.
Page 280 and 281: Why do we call them 'Bugs'? First p
Page 282 and 283: The Ballad of the Tuple Relation Fi
Page 284 and 285: Common Law, and the Need for Restra
Page 289 and 290: 288 Phil Factor on the Law my appli
Page 291 and 292: 290 Phil Factor on the Law Meanwhil
Page 293 and 294: 292 Santa's SLA revenue days for th
Page 296 and 297: Tomorrow will be our Dancing Day Ph
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302 The Data Center that Exploded:
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304 The Data Center that Exploded:
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About Red Gate You know those annoy
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