Confessions of an IT Manager_Phil Factor

Section V: What If …? 247
The two friends sat together in a pew, staring reflectively at the high altar as
the clatter of clerical shoes died away.
"Your holiness, I suspect you want to talk about sponsorship."
"It is a delicate matter, but we have to be conscious of the business plan."
"Everyone knows that the ceiling glorifies God, demonstrates his might, and
instructs the faithful the bible story."
"Quite. However, we both know why Libica, Daniel and Cumala are all
carrying enormous books – the printers' and papermakers' Guild paid a
handsome contribution to this project. You did very well to paint all those
prominently positioned hops and grapes. The Brewers, Vintners and Publicans
have all been most generous. As the book says 'And thou shalt make bars of
shittim wood' (Exodus 26:26). Joel seems to be unravelling a roll of toilet paper
- a useful and lucrative reminder to the worshippers. We must look at all
revenue sources where we can: For is it not said 'Take ye from among you an
offering unto the Lord: whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it, an
offering of the Lord; gold, and silver, and brass' (Exodus 35:5) I don't
understand why you were so rude to the Medici's marketing manager, though."
"I merely pointed out that a large sign, pinned over Adam's crotch,
announcing the Medici's Banking Services, might militate against the
theological message."
"Hmm. He is walking strangely and muttering about being assaulted with
the handle of a paintbrush."
"Well, it was his insistence of an oscillating notice board, surrounded by
candles, saying 'Congratulations, you are our 10,000 visitor at the Sistine
Chapel. Call into Medici Bank for your cash prize'. Even I can be provoked."
The two men fell into a moody silence. They stood, staring at the vast
ceiling, and lost in thought. Here, in plaster was a complex, intricate message.
For the faithful, it was a map of their beliefs and dogma. For everyone, it was a
depiction of faith, and a blueprint of civilized life, preserved so that future
generations could see, and understand the glory of the Christian era.
"Damn it." said Michelangelo, "If ever we succeed, it will be through your
vision, and my brush-strokes, not through management teams, and broad
consensus."
The Pope did not answer. He was lost in a reverie as he stared at the almostcompleted
design for the creation. His lips twitched as though, in his
imagination, he was talking to someone.