The Supreme Doctrine - neo-alchemist

SENSATION AND SENTIMENT
overtaken by the process of becoming a chrysalis and who fights bitterly
against the immobilisation which he feels as a danger.
Nevertheless if I understand how absurd it is to fear immobilisation, if I
understand that my profound spasm offers me not destruction but only an
apparent death (chrysalis) in order to obtain a life that at last is real
(butterfly), then I perceive that the release of an imaginary film by the
emotive state is not by any means inevitable. Strong in my understanding, in
my Faith, I realise that I am able, and quite easily, to lose myself in my
spasm, that is in my fear, or sadness, or anxiety, without any image fearful or
sad or anxious, without thoughts, or inner movements. At the end of a
moment my sadness ceases to be such in order to become colourless
immobility merely. I am then insensible, anaesthetised, like a piece of timber;
an idiot in one sense, but still very well able to act, to react correctly to the
outer world, like a robot in good working order.
One sees at what paradoxical conclusions our study arrives. Our first
observations condemned the emotive spasm and inspired in us a nostalgia for
the purely fluid emotivity of childhood. But it is impossible to go backwards;
and besides the state of the child was the extreme opposite of that of satori.
We must go ahead. The deplorable consequences of our intellectual
development arose only from the fact that our intellect was not enlightened;
as a result of our ignorance we were resisting our inner immobilisation; the
resistance to immobilisation caused our variations of spasm, eddies of
distress; we were wounding ourselves on the bonds which bound us up. But
the remedy is there where we saw the evil; the bonds were only enemies to us
when we resisted them. The emotive spasm was only destructive as long as it
continued to be emotive, that is agitated. As soon as I cease to dread
immobility I free myself from the imaginary film, illusorily coercive, which
was born from the spasm; the spasm ceases to be emotive, and it ceases
forthwith to be spasm in order to become merely immobility without
suffering. The maturing of satori is then possible.
Our intelligence always ends up with this paradox at the moment at
which thesis and antithesis are resolved in a synthesis. I was possessed first
of all by the unconsidered belief that my emotive state was my very life
(thesis); my considered study brings me to the belief, diametrically opposite,
that my central spasm is my death (antithesis); and then suddenly my
intellectual intuition discovers that my conscious adhesion to my spasmodic
emotive state delivers me from it, that is this adhesion conciliates life and
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