Copyright by Laura Mareike Sager 2006 - The University of Texas at ...
Copyright by Laura Mareike Sager 2006 - The University of Texas at ...
Copyright by Laura Mareike Sager 2006 - The University of Texas at ...
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drawings and paintings <strong>of</strong> his externalized fears oppressing his mind results in his<br />
victory over them:<br />
So zeichnete Goya Tag für<br />
Tag. Wirft hin, was durch den Sinn ihm<br />
Geht. Läßt seinen Träumen freien<br />
Lauf. Läßt sie heraus aus seinem<br />
Kopfe kriechen, fliegen, die Dä-<br />
Monen, die Gespenster, r<strong>at</strong>ten-<br />
Schwänzig, hundsgesichtig, kröten-<br />
Mäulig, Cayetana immer<br />
Unter ihnen. Zeichnet sie mit<br />
Wüt’ger Inbrunst, hält sie fest, es<br />
Ist ihm Qual und Lust, sie so zu<br />
Zeichnen, ist ein beßrer Wahn, fast<br />
Lustig, nicht so tierisch schmerzhaft<br />
Wie der Wahn, der ihm die Brust und<br />
Ihm den Kopf zerdrückt, wenn er nur<br />
Sitzt und denkt und wird nicht fertig<br />
mit dem Denken. Nein, solang er<br />
Zeichnet, darf er närrisch sein. Es<br />
Ist hellsicht’ger Wahn, er freut sich<br />
Seiner, er genießt ihn. Und er<br />
Zeichnet (Goya 403-4). 170<br />
<strong>The</strong>se final verses again take up the demons <strong>of</strong> the Sueño de la razón or its<br />
prepar<strong>at</strong>ory drawings in lines five to eight, but now explicitly connect this image<br />
to Cayetana, there<strong>by</strong> re-interpreting the image as intensely personal and priv<strong>at</strong>e.<br />
It is several chapters l<strong>at</strong>er th<strong>at</strong> Goya begins etching those prepar<strong>at</strong>ory<br />
drawings for the Caprichos. Goya is now back in Madrid, and he is foregrounding<br />
170 “Day <strong>by</strong> day now Goya draws, flings / Out and <strong>of</strong>f wh<strong>at</strong> passes through his / Mind. He gives<br />
his dreams their fullest / Play. He lets them creep and fly out / Of his head, the demons, specters –<br />
R<strong>at</strong>-tailed, dog-faced, toad-mouthed / – always / Cayetana is among them. / So he draws her,<br />
raging, lusting, / Holds her fast; both lust and torment / ‘tis to him to draw her so; he / Feels it is a<br />
better madness, / Almost blithe, not quite so beastly / ‘Tis to draw her so, as when he / Sits and<br />
things, the other madness / Crushing head and breast and never / Finding end to thinking. No, so /<br />
Long as he can draw he may be / Foolish, for there is clear-sighted / Folly in it, he enjoys it, / And<br />
he draws” (This Is 365).<br />
143