Suckers - J.A. Konrath

starter cord.
"You're at least going to smack Harry around a bit, right?"
"He’ll get what’s coming to him."
I smirked at Harry. He shrugged. Crazy Chainsaw Goon fondled his cord.
"Okay," I said. "I like my feet. I’ll come quietly."
They grabbed me by the shoulders and tugged me into the next room.
- 4 -
Harry
The stoolies carted away Andrew Maudlin, and Vlad gave me his full attention. His bald
head had an unhealthy sheen of sweat on it, which dripped down past his double chin and onto
the black leather silver buckle bondage vest he wore. What I thought were leather pants were in
fact chaps, and under them he wore a black bikini pouch.
Fabio wouldn’t have looked good in that getup. Considering that Vlad resembled Ernest
Borgnine, the overall effect wasn’t pleasant.
"You seem like a reasonable man," I said, watching him play his tongue over the tips of his
fangs. "Why don’t you just give me Tanya and let us go?"
"What about your little boyfriend?"
"He’s not my boyfriend. We’ve only gone on a couple of dates. He doesn't put out until the
third."
He laughed, a high-pitched noise that sounded like a squeaky wheel.
"Ah, the great Harry McGlade. Always quick with the quip. Just like on the TV show."
There used to be a cable series called Fatal Autonomy based on my adventures. Lasted three
seasons. Even earned an Emmy nomination for best gaffing. I think. I might have imagined the
Emmy nomination during a drinking binge.
"Are you a fan? I could get you Daniel Baldwin’s autograph. We’re tight."
"I already have what I want, Mr. McGlade."
"An overbite?"
"You, Mr. McGlade. I have you."
A scream, from deep inside the house. I couldn’t tell if it was male or female.
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