Suckers - J.A. Konrath

INTRODUCTION
by Joe Konrath
My name is Joe Konrath, and I write a mystery/thriller series about Chicago cop Jacqueline
“Jack” Daniels. Jack, and her supporting cast of characters, have appeared in six novels since
2004.
One member of that supporting cast is Jack’s ex-partner, a private detective named Harry
McGlade.
Even though he’s guest-starred in all of her books, Jack doesn’t like Harry. He’s an
insensitive jerk, a disgusting pig, and a self-centered egomaniac who thinks he’s funny.
Which is why Harry is my all time favorite character to write for.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your taste) I never get into Harry’s head in the
Jack Daniels novels. He’s such a goofball that he strains credulity. If I really let Harry be Harry,
the books would be disasters.
Which brings us to these short stories.
In these, I let Harry do whatever the hell he wants to. It’s liberating for me as a writer, and
hopefully fun for the reader, as no other stories I’ve ever done have packed so many jokes onto
the page.
A word of warning. These stories are not politically correct. They’re silly, sometimes
offensive, often gory, and mostly just plain wrong. This is Harry Gone Wild, 100% Uncensored.
“Whelp Wanted” is the first Harry short I published, written for the now defunct Futures
Anthology magazine. It’s quintessential Harry McGlade, taking an absurd premise to the nth
degree.
“Taken to the Cleaners” was published in The Strand magazine. It’s a comedic mystery,
with a ridiculous mystery at the core that just keeps getting stupider.
“The Necro File” is an anti-story. I took everything I’ve learned about story structure, plot,
and characterization, and purposely ignored it. As such, it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever
written. This originally appeared in the horror anthology Like A Chinese Tattoo, and it certainly
qualifies as a horror story. Or maybe “horrible” is a better word. So is “offensive.” In fact, you
probably shouldn’t read it at all.
5