Speaking to One Another - The International Raoul Wallenberg ...

itics. They say, ‘May they not touch me, may I not be involved. Let’s not diminish, extinguish, lose ourculture.’ Where does nationalism start, where is it really about protecting a culture, it’s hard to say. Eachschool has its own association. They always go to the Princes’ Islands for girls and boys of the same ageto get together. It’s normal to consider Turks as the other as long as they live amongst themselves.”Like many Armenians in Turkey, Aram has relatives abroad. While some were survivors of 1915, otherswere victims of discrimination against Christians during the Turkish Republic. For example, his maternaluncle, an Italian citizen, left for Italy during the 1960s, as it became difficult for foreign nationalsto work in Turkey. Unlike many of his Armenian friends and relatives, Aram never considered leavingTurkey. This is due to the sense of belonging he feels within his social network and the neighborhood inwhich he lives: “Lots of tiny relationships create a connection. You always live in the same area. Wanderingin Şişli, I can grab a handful of nuts from the local store. Many of my childhood friends are thechildren of my father’s childhood friends. This continuity is a special feeling. I have lived it with a senseof fulfillment. To be rooted somewhere. This is why I don’t go abroad.” He emphasizes Turks’ and Armenians’shared culture and attachment to place: “I don’t think I am culturally different. Because you belongto the same land. You belong here. You talk through the feeling of here. Even if you killed each other,even if you don’t look at one another’s face, the same thing makes you happy.”Aram tells a moving anecdote to express his feelings about coming to terms with the past as an Armenianin Turkey: “A husband and wife can’t get along, they will divorce. The next day the girl says to herfriend, ‘We’ve decided to carry on.’ When the friend asks ‘Why?’ She says, ‘He is good at somersaults.’When asked, ‘What does it have to do with that?’ she says, ‘I am willing to get along’. How can the painof a broken arm be forgotten? It is forgotten through forgiving. Discussing is something, questioning isanother thing, but eventually you have to love. And they have to love you in return.” Aram’s discussionof the willingness to forgive, to love and to demand love in return, is an important contribution to thinkingabout reconciliation in Turkey.30