Speaking to One Another - The International Raoul Wallenberg ...

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The Three Poles: What are We, Brother?Ayhan was born in 1979 in a village in Sason, in Southeastern Turkey. His great grandfather who survived1915 lived amongst Kurdish tribes and adopted a Muslim name. The only sign passed on to Ayhan’s generationabout their ancestors’ roots is the word “Christian” in their identity cards. Ayhan’s story is that ofclaiming his lost Armenian identity. In order to do this, Ayhan, who grew up thinking Kurdish was “the onlymeans of expression on earth” had to come to the realization that he lived at the juncture of three poles.FillaThe only memory Ayhan has concerning Armenianness is the “ant game” played among shepherds inthe village: “The field ants are big and red. The other ants are black and small. Children pitted them56
against one another. The feet of the field ants were ripped off so that the black ants could kill them. Thefield ants were the fılla. Fılla means Christian. This stuck in my mind.”In 1982, one of Ayhan’s uncles migrated to Istanbul, settled in Kurtuluş and opened a store. His fatherfollowed soon after and Ayhan found himself in the city. Migration meant not only entering a new spacebut also a new language: “People speak Turkish on the streets. When you go to the store, you say ‘bread’in Turkish. So you want to learn Turkish.” His father wanted to send Ayhan to the Armenian school, butthey were handed a list requiring “Ten pairs of socks, twenty pairs of underwear, a sweat suit, regularshoes, training shoes.” Since his father couldn’t afford the items on the list, Ayhan went to the publicschool two streets over.Crossing myself, I confuse right and leftEven if he couldn’t go to the Armenian school, Ayhan was sent to the Kınalıada summer camp for Armenianchildren from low-income families. This time he encountered another language: “Te means tea,I shall keep this in mind, learn Armenian.” In the camp, there were also religious practices to whichAyhan needed to adjust: “We prayed before meals, but it’s a different prayer this time and we crossedourselves. Up and down, right and left. I always confused right and left. First right or left? I was alwayswatching someone and doing as they did.”Kurds at home Turks at school Armenians at campAyhan experiences a similar difficulty in religion classes at school: “I was trying to memorize the prayersin middle school. I tried to write them down but I could not memorize the Arabic words. My mother usedto pray but she never told us that we should. Even though our identity cards say we are Christian, myfather never said we should go to church.” Ayhan and his cousins, who move between languages andidentities, make a joke of their situation: “What are we, brother?” They define their identities by context:“We are three things. We are Kurds at home, we speak Kurdish. Second, we are Turks at school, wespeak Turkish. Third, we are Armenians at the camp, we speak Armenian. We are Armenians in summer,Turks in school in winter and Kurds at home. We felt most comfortable being Kurdish.”As he discovered the Kurdish movement at university, his Armenian identity emerged out of Kurdishness:“What I have to do first of all is to claim my Kurdish identity. I claimed it emotionally. Then I beganto claim my Armenian identity. I realized that there was an identity problem and that I had becomeassimilated from Armenianness to Kurdishness and from Kurdishness to Turkishness.” Assimilationseems like the price of surviving 1915: “I consider myself Kurdish because of this event. I learn that I’mnot, but don’t know if this loss can be redeemed.”57
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Published by:Institut für Internat
Page 5 and 6: ContentsForeword...................
Page 7 and 8: ForewordThe project “Adult Educat
Page 10 and 11: Aras, Yasin Aras, Welat Ay, Cenk Ce
Page 12 and 13: The main audience of this book is o
Page 15 and 16: “Wish they hadn’t left”:The B
Page 17 and 18: ed by 1915 and where memories of Ar
Page 19 and 20: 1915 tends to be represented by int
Page 21 and 22: Yet to a large extent, Turkish inte
Page 23 and 24: this, we can’t. It’s impossible
Page 25 and 26: een very advanced in trade and craf
Page 27 and 28: How to Come to Terms with Phantom P
Page 29 and 30: It is always you who has to be nice
Page 32 and 33: to the way he was raised: “They f
Page 34 and 35: empathize with Armenians: “My aun
Page 36 and 37: Adil is not the only one marked by
Page 38 and 39: ness may be an attempt to overcome
Page 40 and 41: dernity and the oral transmission o
Page 42 and 43: A soup pot with spoons around itAt
Page 44 and 45: What if My Mother is Armenian?Ruhi
Page 46 and 47: If I were younger I’d get baptize
Page 48: with butter. We’ll serve the impo
Page 51 and 52: The time Salih and Gavrik are worki
Page 53 and 54: Turkey’s changing context is refr
Page 55: ‘It was to be expected.’ And my
Page 59 and 60: Fear of Losing a CityZübeyde was b
Page 61 and 62: half for me.’ But what do our Mus
Page 63 and 64: e discussed when the kids were arou
Page 65 and 66: possible by the difference in relig
Page 67 and 68: The Charm of AraratMehmet is a 62-y
Page 69 and 70: dogs protected the sheep against wo
Page 71 and 72: The Story of the “Night People”
Page 73 and 74: “I don’t know why, but my grand
Page 75: Research in Armenia:“Whom to Forg
Page 78 and 79: and can generally be located in Tur
Page 80 and 81: “Whom to Forgive? What to Forgive
Page 82 and 83: “Private Stories”After the esta
Page 84 and 85: Recalling MemoriesOral history diff
Page 86 and 87: In the village of Ujan, where the v
Page 88 and 89: The home-museum of Gevork Chaush in
Page 90 and 91: Memorial in the Ashnak village dedi
Page 92 and 93: other regions are entirely populate
Page 94 and 95: sources and materials for their mem
Page 96 and 97: Ergir’s Soil is Strong, Ergir’s
Page 98: Tatevik, the granddaughterof Mihran
Page 101 and 102: eral meanings in Armenian -”whole
Page 103 and 104: The Gospel with Golden Binding of S
Page 105 and 106: keeps a copper chalice that was bro
Page 107 and 108:
In some families the passports of t
Page 109 and 110:
at that time, Mustafa and Jamal, wh
Page 111 and 112:
People were so frightened to lose g
Page 113 and 114:
naked, they were decapitating every
Page 115 and 116:
Water, Fire, Desert“There was an
Page 117 and 118:
his mother dragged him behind her,
Page 119 and 120:
Many of our narrators mention the R
Page 121 and 122:
In the word-stock of the survivors
Page 123 and 124:
in Kurdish villages, and helping th
Page 125 and 126:
“Well, They Are Human Too”Even
Page 127 and 128:
member this well, they said, the el
Page 129 and 130:
speak to each other. Questioned by
Page 131 and 132:
Hamze Ptshuk, survived from Hosnut
Page 133 and 134:
“I don’t Know...”Why did this
Page 135 and 136:
“My Dear Almast, Write it Down, W
Page 137 and 138:
took his rifle and ran. The dog fel
Page 139 and 140:
she didn’t tell it to me. In the
Page 141 and 142:
elder guy in this house died and hi
Page 143 and 144:
AH - Turks always killed to get int
Page 145 and 146:
“My Father used to Tell us at Hom
Page 147 and 148:
person... I have never seen him, bu
Page 149 and 150:
gotten what you knew”. So, out of
Page 151 and 152:
a paid Adult Residential Facility,
Page 153 and 154:
It was probably after 60s... My fat
Page 155 and 156:
the Vardevar 1 day . Even if we mak
Page 157 and 158:
that this wasn’t a dream... and..
Page 159 and 160:
was our historical village. Nich, I
Page 161 and 162:
just filming around myself with no
Page 163 and 164:
that person whether I could take a
Page 165:
[Turk. wife]”. In the morning I t
Page 168 and 169:
4 Albert Mamikonyan,1953, in Kirova
Page 170 and 171:
11 Almast Harutyunyan,1920, Ujan vi
Page 172 and 173:
18 Eleonora Ghazaryan.1949, Ashnak
Page 174 and 175:
26 Nairi Tajiryan,1936, Egypt (Cair
Page 176:
33 Vazgen Ghukasyan,1933, Ashnak vi
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